10 Reasons Why Sephiroth Hates His Brothers
by Northsky
Summary: A two room apartment, one silver haired killer and his three childish blundering brothers, what does that equal to? Ten reasons why Sephiroth hates his brothers. -Crackfic-
1. Prologue

**Ten reasons why Sephiroth hates his brothers**

**Prologue**

**Summery: A two room apartment, one silver haired killer and his three childish blundering brothers, what does that equal to? Ten reasons why Sephiroth wants to kill his brothers. **

**Hey hey! I'm back again! I was having a terrible writers block when this idea just smacked me across the head literally. What happens when you put Sephiroth, Kadaj, Yazoo, and Loz into a two room apartment? Hehe trouble. Alright this story is set in an alternative universe; forget who these four and anyone else who shows up in this story are. They are different! Like in my Kadaj stories. Now Yazoo, be a dear and do the disclaimer for me please!**

**Yazoo: (sigh) Northsky does not own anybody in this story… we all belong to Square-Enix.  
**

* * *

It was an okay looking apartment. The walls were a steel gray-color, there are about 7 stories, and the neighborhood was a quiet one. A pretty good deal if you only have a few hundred gil with you. 

Sephiroth was pretty proud with himself, his threats—I mean persuasive skills—always work on people. He swaggered into the lobby, as if he owned it.

"Nii-chan! It's heavy!" A high boyish voice stopped him in his steps. He turned around slowly, almost reluctantly.

Three silver haired boys stood behind him, each carrying or dragging a luggage two times their height and weight. The short haired one was carrying two, stumbling under his burden.

"What about it?" Sephiroth asked imperiously, looking down at them. They were at least a head shorter than him.

The middle one who talked, looked up from under the floral print luggage he was carrying. One Catlike green-eye met Sephiroth's piercing blue-green ones. The other eye was hidden under a curtain of straight silver hair.

"Why can't you carry some nii-chan?" The teenager asked.

"Because I'm telling you to." Sephiroth answered simply. He didn't want to waste any words on these simple creatures.

"But nii-chan these are sooo heavy." The short haired one whined pathetically, and shifted under the heavy suit cases.

"Stop whining, why can't you guys be quiet like Yazoo?" Sephiroth gestured at the last silver haired boy, who stood silently watching the whole argument.

"But it's so heavy…I don't think I can hold it up anymo-" The short haired one's words were cut off by the collapse of the overstuffed bags.

Sephiroth sighed at the useless group of idiots in front of him, and turned around to leave.

"Pick up that idiot and the luggage and let's go." He ordered over his shoulders. The quiet one, Yazoo bent down to help his older brother up.

"Don't cry Loz," he quietly calmed his tear stained brother. "Nii-chan didn't mean it."

"I think he did though." The middle one, Kadaj casually commented. His statement cause more tears to burst out of his brother's eyes.

Yazoo ignored his younger brother's comments, and dusted Loz off, "Does it hurt anywhere Loz?" He asked gently.

The cry-baby, Loz shook his head side to side, reminding many people of a giant kindergartener in black skin tight leather.

"Hurry up!" Sephiroth yelled from the other side of the lobby, impatiently holding the elevator door for his younger brothers.

They rushed towards him as fast as their heavy packs could allow them, and squeezed into the elevator.

It was a tight fit in the elevator. Sephiroth wiggled (AN: Sephiroth wiggled…for some reason that sounds so weird…) and tried to find a comfortable position. The edge of a suitcase was digging into his ribs on the left, and his entire figure was mashed into the side of the elevator.

Sephiroth grimaced painfully and slightly pushed at the suitcase. It didn't budge a bit. The silver haired man twisted his neck to see who was under the infernal suitcase. It was Loz.

"Loz would you move that thing?" He said through clenched teeth. Loz turned his head as much as he could without hurting it. He blinked a few times; his eyes were stinging with sweat.

"I can't, brother." He mumbled with staggered breath.

Sephiroth sighed; this is like talking to a cow.

"And why not?"

"Because, there's no space."

"I know there is no space!" Frustrated with the pointy edge of the suitcase and the claustrophobic elevator, Sephiroth lost his patience.

Shoving the suitcase as hard as he can, Sephiroth managed to clear some space for him. The shove sent Loz flying into Yazoo, who in turn dropped his luggage on Kadaj's foot, who screamed in pain and dropped his luggage.

The chain reaction rocked the elevator back and forth like a baby's crib. The four brother's shouts were suddenly silenced by a loud snap.

The small metal box dropped suddenly, flying down the chute, sending a flurry of screaming black leather bodies, and heavy suitcases into the ceiling of the box.

A guardian angel was watching over these four silver haired brothers though. As suddenly as the elevator had dropped, it stopped with a sickening jolt, causing the four brothers to crash into the floor, followed by four heavy suitcases right on top of each.

"Owwww…" Sephiroth muttered as he slowly and painfully pushed the weighty suitcase off his newly injured back.

"I'm still alive?" Kadaj's high boyish voice sounded from a corner of the elevator.

"Sadly, yes." Sephiroth mumbled.

"Are you guys sill alive?" A voice came out over the loudspeaker in the elevator. The voice didn't sound like it cared if they were alive and well or if their guts were splattered all over the four walls of the elevator.

"Yeah we're still alive." Kadaj answered for all four of them.

"Ok well you're gonna have to stay in there for a while. We don't have anybody to come up here and fix the elevator for a few hours." The loudspeaker was silent after the announcement; probably off to get some coffee and donuts.

"Great, this is just great." Sephiroth mumbled to himself again. (AN: Sephiroth is very good at mumbling.) A few hours with his sibling and he's bound to come out of the elevator a raving lunatic.

_They better come quickly,_ Sephiroth thought as he put his hand on the hilt of his overly long sword. This is going to be a very long few hours.

"Nii-chan…..I need to go to the bathroom."

* * *

**Guess who said the last line? It's the ever adorable Loz of course! I love putting Sephiroth in tight situations. I might not be able to update this story for a while, because PSATs are coming this week and there's countless of stuffs to do for school, and all that jazz. Well, anyway review and tell me if you like it! I love entertaining the crowds. Don't you agree Sephy?****  
Sephiroth: Die.  
Heh Sephiroth agrees too. **


	2. Reason 1

**10 Reasons Why Sephiroth Hates His Brothers: Chapter 1  
**

**Yay second chappie! I haven't gotten any review lately but I'm not worried. Well anyways I'm not gonna take up any more time  
**

* * *

**Reason 1: His brothers are annoying**

First impressions are always important. It affect what a person's thoughts about another person or place permanently. Sephiroth didn't get a very good first impression of his new home.

Three hours in the elevator with his brothers was more than enough. The three younger boys thought up a stupid game that consists mainly of socks, shaving cream, and the four brother's boxers to pass the time.

Sephiroth just sat sulking in a corner, worrying about how much his brother's stupidity would affect his sanity in the long run.

When the elevator man finally arrived, the three younger brothers were out of a week's supply of shaving cream and Sephiroth was at his last wits. You literally could see a nerve twitching on his forehead.

Finally reaching their apartment on the seventh floor, the first thing Sephiroth did was to plop himself down on the red couch in the living room. He desperately needed some Advil for his aching migraine. His brothers tiredly dragged themselves into the apartment and dropped the suitcases in the hallway.

"Next time we're traveling light," Kadaj muttered irritably, rubbing his sore arm.

"Well Kadaj you're the only one with so much stuff, all your clothes took up a whole suitcase," Loz informed Kadaj.

"What about all your toys Loz? Isn't it about time you throw those dumb things out?" Kadaj took this opportunity to stab at his older brother's weak spot.

"They're not dumb! And no I'm not throwing them out!! NEVER!!" Loz yelled, suddenly alert at the mention of throwing his precious treasures out.

"Keep it down over there!" Sephiroth's sudden yell quieted the two arguing brothers.

"Let's go get ourselves a room," Yazoo said quietly, leading his childish brothers towards the bedroom.

There were two bedrooms, a big one with a bathroom and a small one without. The three brothers walked into the bigger room, and Kadaj jumped onto the big bed with excitement.

"This is great! This room is huge!" Kadaj said excitedly. Loz jumped onto the bed with him, and the two smiled excitedly at Yazoo. Yazoo nodded calmly at their excitement, and sat down in a nearby chair looking around.

"What are you three doing?" A demanding voice coming from the door made all three turn around. Sephiroth leaned against the door with a frown on his face.

"Nii-chan! This is gonna be our room OK?" Kadaj said innocently.

"Who said?" Sephiroth asked with a raised eyebrow.

"Well there are three of us and we're sure you don't want to share a room with us…" Yazoo tried to reason with his older brother.

"Get out of here, I'm tired," Sephiroth interrupted him walking into the room. He shooed—or rather, shoved violently—his brother out with his sheathed sword, and slammed the door in his surprised brothers' face.

"He never did like listening to reason," Loz muttered bluntly.

* * *

Three pairs of blue-green eyes eyed the small room. It wasn't that small if there's only one person, but the problem is that there isn't one person—there's three. The room was pretty bare except for a small desk in the corner, a closet that covered one side of the wall, a small couch, and a twin sized bed. 

Kadaj and Loz looked at each other.

"I get the bed!!" They both shouted at the same time and jumped for the bed. Both landed short of the bed and started wrestling each other on the floor, rolling back and forth.

Yazoo watched the two for a while, a cool amused look on his face, then walked gracefully towards the bed—while carefully avoiding the wrestlers on the ground—and sat down on it.

Loz, being the bigger and stronger between the two brothers eventually got Kadaj into a headlock.

"Owow! Let go! It hurts, Loz!" Kadaj muffled voice could be heard coming out of the wooden floor where his face was planted.

"Not until you admit defeat and hand the bed over to me!" Loz laughed, gripping his younger brother's arm tighter.

"I give! I give!" Kadaj painfully squeaked. Loz chuckled and got off his brother. Kadaj sighed with relief and watched jealously as his brother sauntered over to the bed. Loz smiled at Yazoo and sat down next to him.

"Yay! I get the bed!" Loz smiled smugly.

"No I got it first." Yazoo said casually, gently pushing his stunned brother off the bed.

"Wha! That's not fair! You didn't fight for it!" Loz yelled from his position on the floor.

"Sorry I claimed it first" Yazoo held up his hand apologetically, in reality though not a bit sorry at all.

Loz gaped at his brother, and turned his target at the couch—the next best thing. Kadaj, seeing his brother looking at it, sprinted toward the currently free couch.

Loz tried getting up to run after his brother, but saw that it was too late and plopped back down onto the floor, pouting while Kadaj laughed evilly from his couch.

"It's ok Loz, you can go sleep with Sephiroth." Yazoo suggested. Loz gagged at the thought of sharing a bed with his older brother, who would probably kill him in his sleep.

"Ok never mind then." Yazoo pounded his coughing brother's back.

"You can go sleep on the couch in the living room." Kadaj suggested snidely, "or are you too scared."

Kadaj knew perfectly well how Loz couldn't sleep without having someone close by.

"I-I- Fine! I'll go sleep by myself!" Loz took up his brother's challenge and— still pouting—stomped into the living room.

* * *

It was midnight and Loz was scared to death. The whirring of the fridge and the tick-tocking of the clock isn't really helping much either. 

Flipping back and forth under his thin blanket and clutching his old chocobo doll, his mind debated. Should he return to their room, sleep on the floor and risk getting teased by Kadaj for the next few weeks, or stay here and not sleep for the whole night.

Cursing himself for being such a coward Loz got up, dragging his blanket behind him like a little boy.

Passing Sephiroth's room he stopped. Looking into Sephiroth's room Loz remembered Yazoo's suggestion. Shaking his head he kept walking, no sense in getting his head cut off over sleeping arrangements.

Stopping again Loz walked back. Then again he could sleep on the floor. Sephiroth wouldn't mind, would he?

Sneaking into Sephiroth's room, Loz settled onto the floor. It wasn't comfortable. The wooden floor was cold and hard. Using his chocobo doll as a pillow, Loz tried to make the best out of the situation.

It was no use. There was no way he could sleep like this. Loz eyed the bed doubtfully. Turning around so he could not be tempted by the soft mattresses and fluffy pillows he closed his eyes.

Opening them again he got up; he was going to hate himself for this. He sneaked slowly toward the bed. Wincing when the floorboard squeaked, he froze in mid stance. Sephiroth was well known between the brothers for his incredible hearing.

Sephiroth groaned and turned around, so his bare back faced Loz, who twitched slightly in fright.

Still twitching, Loz lifted the bed cover with the utmost care. Slowly, oh so slowly Loz lowered himself onto the bed, as far away as he could from his sleeping brother.

Settling down, Loz sighed with content at the softness of the cotton under him. Just as he was about to fall sleep, sudden movements from the other corner of the bed startled him awake.

Sephiroth suddenly turned around. Loz stifled a scream of fear as the older brother pulled him close with an arm and a leg. Mumbling from his dream, Sephiroth clutched his brother in an iron grip.

Loz's finally relaxed when he realized that his brother was still asleep. He was in an awkward position, crushed in Sephiroth's bear hug, with one of his leg crushing his tummy.

He sighed; no wonder Sephiroth needed such a big bed. If he had slept in the smaller bed in Yazoo and Kadaj's room he would have fallen off it by now.

Sephiroth's long silver hair spread across Loz's face, and his warm breath next to his ear was giving him goosebumps.

Sephiroth's hair was tickling Loz's nose. Silently cursing himself again for being such a coward and making the stupid decision of sharing a bed with his murderous brother, Loz held his breath against the oncoming sneeze.

He mustn't—he had to—no, had to hold it in. Squinting his eyes, Loz tried to reach up to hold his nose. His arm was trapped by Sephiroth's arm. Mentally letting loose a string of colorful language on himself, Loz sneezed.

"A-achoooo!" The arm and leg that was holding him suddenly tightened painfully.

"Loz…" A very calm but dangerous voice whispered next to his ear. Loz's goosebumps intensified. He could see the anger slowly build up in the catlike blue-green eyes that were a bit too close for comfort.

"WHAT IN MOTHER'S NAME ARE YOU DOING IN MY BED!!!!!" The loud yell shattered his eardrums.

"N-nii-chan….hehehehe……" Loz laughed sheepishly, wishing he had stayed on the couch. Being alone was much less scarier than being here in his homicidal brother's arms.

Roughly pushing his brother, Sephiroth sent Loz flying off the bed with a loud thump.

"Oh you are in for it." Sepiroth growled through clenched teeth as he crawled toward the edge of the bed.

"B-but n-nii-chan I don't wanna sleep by myself!" Loz explained, horrified.

"And you think my bed is the next best choice?" Getting off the bed, Sephiroth stood there in his black boxers with clouds (how ironic) before Loz, who was sitting on the floor pitifully.

"B-but the floor is so hard." Loz looked down sniffling, waiting for his punishment.

"……….." Seeing that there was silence, he looked up. Sephiroth was crawling back into bed.

"Nii-chan?"

"Just don't sleep too close to me." Sephiroth muttered, turning his back toward Loz.

Smiling happily Loz crawled into bed next to his older brother, staying far enough, but snuggling in as close as he dare. He slept well that night.

* * *

**(nosebleeds from image of angry Sephiroth in boxers….) Hehe I thought this chapter was really cute. I love torturing Loz though. Don't know why but he is just such a good torture subject. (grins evilly) Hooray for chocobo dolls and black cloud boxers! Anyone who reviews gets a Sephiroth doll in boxers! Bet you like that!****  
Sephiroth: You should be ashamed of yourself you pervert.  
Shuddup….**


	3. Reason 2

**10 Reasons Why Sephiroth Hates His Brothers: Chapter 2  
**

**Reviews,YAY! Me happy! **

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**Reason 2: They disturb him…mentally and physically**

Sephiroth walked down the hall, his strides were long and far. _Where are those stupid little idiots?_ Looking into his own room he found that it was empty. His bed still wasn't made, and clothes were strewn all over the floor. Here and there are a few empty beer bottles.

_I'll make the dimwits clean it up later._ Grinning evilly, and considering on making it even messier, Sephiroth move on. He didn't stop in front of the closet room knowing that none of his brothers could fit into such a tiny space.

He stopped by the bathroom, the door was closed. He tried the handle and found it unlocked.

Poking his head in, he found no one. Closing the door Sephiroth approached the last door in the corridor. The door to his little brother's room was closed, and locked.

There were loud noises coming from behind the door. Putting his ear against the door, Sephiroth listened in to his brother's conversations.

"Yazoo, it's tight here."

"I know that Loz, now if you could just scoot over a bit."

"Ow! You two are hurting me!"

"Stop whining Kadaj."

"There's not enough room for both of us Loz, you'll have to wait"

"Huh? No way! I wanna go first!"

"One at a time Loz!"

"Ow ow ow! Will you two please stop pushing?! And watch where you poke that thing!!"

"Almost done Kadaj, just a few more minutes." There was a groan.

Sephiroth couldn't help it, but his face began to feel hot. What the hell are they doing?

"The ground is hard Yazoo, can we move on to the bed?" Kadaj's breath was staggered as he whined.

"Fine, fine it's more comfortable over there too." Sephiroth could hear rustling and a few groans.

"There it is!"

"What where?"

"Look Loz it's standing up, you see it?"

"WOAH! How did it do that?"

"I dunno… I guess it's natural…."

"Maybe Nii-chan would like to-"

At the mention of him, Sephiroth had enough already. Jerking his head away from the door, he tried the doorknob again.

It wasn't much success. Face hot, he kicked at the door, the first time it didn't budge. Again Sephiroth kicked at it. Nope.

Moving back Sephiroth decided to run the door down. He ran down the corridor as fast as he could, and at the last minute closed his eyes, expecting the impact of the wooden door on his shoulders.

There was no impact. Not with the door anyway. There was an impact with the floor though. Sephiroth sailed through the now opened door, and landed smack on the hard wooden floor.

"Oomph" He grunted as the wind was knocked out of his chest. Dazed, he looked up. Three heads were looking down at him, eyes full of curiosity.

Quickly getting up Sephiroth yelled as loud as his knocked out lungs could allow him.

"WHAT IN MOTHER'S NAME ARE YOU THREE PERVERTS DOING IN A LOCKED ROOM?????!!!!!!!!"

Taking in a much needed breath of air after the loud yell Sephiroth looked around sternly at the three shorter boys.

Sephiroth first noticed their scared looks—anyone would be scared after getting yelled at by a flustered looking Sephiroth—Loz looked ready to bawl, even the normally unfazed Yazoo was stunned by the sudden outburst.

Then Sephiroth noticed that they all had their clothes on. Sephiroth's eyelids started twitching, and he could feel a major headache coming on.

"N-nii-c-chan….. w-we…." Kadaj stammered nervously, he had never seen his brother this way.

"Y-you…what were you guys doing?" Sephiroth asked again, this time a bit more quiet.

"We were watching this worm nii-chan." Kadaj timidly held up his hand. A long and fat earthworm sat in his palm actually standing up straight, and if the worm had eyes and could talk Sephiroth was pretty sure that the worm would be laughing at him—hard.

Sephiroth felt his face redden up, getting hotter by the moment. He had mistaken what they were talking about behind the door for something completely different. Very different.

"We tried to squeeze under that desk to watch it, but it was a tight squeeze so we decided to move onto the bed. The worm was standing up and so we thought about getting you so you can see it….but we heard a loud thump on the door…" Yazoo explained. "And I opened the door and here you are."

"Why is your face so red nii-chan." Loz asked. Sephiroth's hand leapt to his face, covering it.

"N-nothing, I mean it's not red. What are you talking about? Stupid idiots…go clean the house. I'm going to go out tonight." Sephiroth left the room quickly.

Walking out of apartment he grabbed his black trench coat. The cool night air collided with his still warm and red cheeks. It's going to be an allnighter for Sephiroth at the bar.

* * *

**Tsk tsk tsk Sephy you should be ashamed of yourself.  
Sephiroth: Shuddup…  
Kadaj: Why?  
Loz: Yeah nii-chan didn't do anything wrong.  
Yazoo: …..I wonder…  
Oohh I think Yazoo's onto you Sephy…  
Sephiroth: ……….  
Northsky did the behind-the-door-trick ahhhh! Please don't kill her- (clonks by bricks from angry readers)**

**Oooohh I was worrying about putting this one up…..it seems like a rushed one but I started the whole story because I wanted to tried this trick too….. please don't get mad at me people!**


	4. Reason 3

**10 Reasons Why Sephiroth Hates His Brothers Chapter 3**

**I got reviews!!! I'm happy!! Weee  
Sephy: She's easily amused…  
Can you stop talking like I'm not here?  
Sephy: You are an insignificant being, you do not exist in my eyes.  
Oh yea? Ok Seph you're gonna get it good….. very good. (laughs evilly)  
Sephy: ………hmph. (scared to death)**

* * *

** Reason 3: He doesn't like the "things" they bring home.**

Sephiroth jumped at the sound of the keys jingling in the apartment doorknob. Quickly dropping the pearly white dinner dish he was washing, he dashed into the living room. He could never face his brothers if they found out that he, the Great Sephiroth, was doing chores.

Picking up the vacuum cleaner on the living room floor, Sephiroth slid into the hallway, silver hair flying, timing his stop just right, he stopped right in front of the small closet. Opening the door he shoved the vacuum cleaner into the closet roughly.

Running back to the front, he started to slide again on the shiny wooden floor. He passed the kitchen and living room, and tried to stop. When his breaks didn't work Sephiroth remembered that he had just waxed the floor earlier.

Mentally groaning to himself, he slipped and slide like an elephant on ice towards the door. At that same moment the door swung opened, slamming Sephiroth in the face and knocking him back.

"NII-CHAN!!! WE'RE HOM-….." Kadaj, seeing his older brother on the floor stopped his entrance speech.

"What are you doing on the floor and….. what are you wearing??!!" Kadaj's surprise voice brought over his other brothers. All three looked down at the tall figure on the floor.

Sephiroth rubbed his red throbbing nose, trying to ease his pain and anger. Seeing their surprised looks he followed their gaze down toward his chest. Blushing furiously and muttering colorful languages he ripped the yellow "Kiss the Cook" apron off his head. Crumbling up the cloth into a little bundle he threw it into a corner.

"Get in here and stop gaping." He hissed venomously at the three giggling brothers. The three filed in like little boys in trouble with their mother.

"Nii-chan…" Loz spoke up. Sephiroth glared at the young man, impatiently waiting for him to finish.

"We-brought-some-friends-over." He quickly muttered and shrunk away from the expected slap on the head.

"You what?" Sephiroth hissed his eyes wide opened. He wasn't sure that he could handle more than Kadaj, Loz, and Yazoo. The three younger brothers looked over at the still opened door. Sephiroth turned around and saw to his dismay five figures at the door he had missed earlier.

They were an odd looking group of kids. The first he noticed seemed to be the leader. He had that sort of aura around him. The kid had the spikiest blond hair he had ever seen. It stuck out all over the place, and looked like it could poke someone's eyes out.

The thing that unnerved Sephiroth the most was the kid's eyes. Bright mako blue eyes. It bore into Sephiroth's own mako green eyes, as if reading his mind.

The two stared at each other for a few seconds—Sephiroth refused to break their eye contact even though he desperately wanted to—until the blond kid finally broke away and turned his gaze on to the floor.

Sephiroth looked at the other four. One was a girl with burgundy eyes and long brown hair. She was a cute little thing, smiling at Sephiroth. Then there was the other girl.

He could see that this girl might have had an overdose on caffeine. She couldn't stop moving. She had a grin on her face, short dark brown hair, and chocolate colored eyes. She seemed to be the youngest of the group.

Another had a crazy head of red hair. He wore on his forehead a pair of goggles, and two small red scars lined his face just under his emerald eyes. Sephiroth knew that he wasn't going to like this kid. His eyes were sly looking. The other was quieter. He wore shades, even when he was inside. He was bald.

This was indeed a weird group of kids. He doesn't want them in his apartment especially the blond boy, the guy with the shades, and the red head kid. He turned around toward his brothers so his broad back was facing the kids.

"What do you think you are doing, bringing strays home?" He hissed at them.

"Nii-chan, they aren't strays. They are our friends." Yazoo spoke calmly back, carefully choosing the right words to avoid Sephiroth's wrath.

"Come on. Let them in. Please." Kadaj whined, and let's just say that when Kadaj whines he gets his way. Sephiroth turned around to look at the group that was still hanging around the door way.

The short haired girl was gibbering excitedly towards the bald guy. He didn't seem as enthusiastic about being here as she looked, or acted. The blond boy's blue eyes were alert, darting here and there taking in his surroundings. Sephiroth sighed. He really is going soft.

"They can come in; just don't let them touch anything. If they even put even one toe in my room I'll be kicking all of them out, in a very aggressive way." He glared at the three to make sure that he got his point across.

All three nodded happily and darted toward their friends. Herding them inside, Kadaj called Sephiroth over to give introductions. Sephiroth wanted to run for the local pub where he seemed to be spending most of his time now. But he walked over to the group of kids, his face empty of all emotions.

"Guys, this is our oldest brother Sephiroth." Kadaj, being the talkative one started on the introduction. "Nii-chan, this is Cloud Strife." He pointed at the blonde boy that Sephiroth disliked. The boy stared at him, his eyes narrowed. He doesn't seem to like him either.

"And this is Tifa Lockheart, and Yuffie Kisaragi." The two girls smiled at him. "And finally here are Reno and Rude"

"Yo." The red head, Reno, smiled slyly and greeted Sephiroth. The group of kids walked in, Yuffie bounded forward towards Sephiroth. He moved slightly back, she was like an over eager dog. (Sorry Yuffie fans!)

"Hey mister! Please to meet you! I'm Yuffie the greatest ninja ever!" She grinned loudly at him. Sephiroth grimaced and stepped back some more; she defiantly is high on caffeine or some drug.

"Nice house, yo." Reno commented lazily, looking around. The others walked into the living room, and sat down here and there. Sephiroth debated on leaving the house. He didn't want to leave the apartment alone with this group of crackpot kids.

He sat down on one end of the couch. He had better stay here and watch them, who knew what they might do. Someone sat down next to him. Looking up he expected to find one of his brothers but saw that it was Cloud. The kid stared at him. _What the heck is up with this kid?_ Sephiroth frowned and didn't bother to stare back.

"We'll go and get you guys something to eat." Loz, Kadaj, and Yazoo stood up, and went into the kitchen. "I'll go with you!" Tifa and Yuffie jumped up, and followed the brothers.

Sephiroth was left alone with the kids.

There was an awkward silence. After a few coughs and awkward stares, someone started,

"So….dude how did you get your hair like that? It's very cool yo." Reno asked.

Sephiroth glared needles at him. He knew he wouldn't like this kid.

"It's natural. I didn't dye it." He answered stiffly. He looked around at the other two; they didn't look very interested in the currently dry conversation. He doesn't blame them. He glanced in Cloud's direction. He too was glancing at Sephiroth out of the corner of his eyes.

"What are you staring at kid?" Unable to hold it in anymore Sephiroth asked the annoying kid. The kid kept staring at him. _Oh, it's on kid._ If what this punk wanted was a staring contest then he'll get one! Sephiroth stared back at him, and the two pair of blue-green and blue eyes bore holes in each other.

After three minutes—Rude was keeping time—Sephiroth could feel the smile creeping towards his face. Clouds face remained blank, like a piece of white paper. What is wrong with this kid? He doesn't seem to know how to laugh or even smile. Annoyed, Sephiroth made a face. Sticking out his tongue, and pulling down his eyelids, he stuck his face front of Clouds.

Quickly the boy turned away, hiding his face. But Sephiroth could see his shoulders moving up and down from giggling. Smiling smugly, Sephiroth turned back towards the rest of the people.

CRASH!!! Sephiroth looked up in alarm, the smile wiped from his face. He doesn't like the sound of that, especially if it's coming from the kitchen. He stood up, and walked quickly into the kitchen. He didn't like the scene that greeted him. There was broken pottery on the floor, and blood. The "Greatest Ninja" sat in the middle of it all, sucking on her injured finger.

Sephiroth sighed. There was nothing he could do. He would very much like to pull out his blade and add more injury to the girl, but then he would have more clean up to do. Crouching down he began picking up the broken dishes. He really is getting too soft.

"I'm SO sorry, Sephiroth-san." Yuffie apologized, ready to burst with tears. She sucked her thumb, whimpering slightly.

"Don't worry about it; just get yourself some bandages before you bleed yourself dry." He mumbled. He just hoped that this day wouldn't get any worse.

"Woah! Look at this!!!!!" The astonished voice from outside the kitchen made his regret the words instantly. Dropping the broken crockery he rubbed his temple.

"Clean up this mess." He instructed his brothers and walk out of the kitchen, almost afraid of what he'll find. There stood Reno holding his precious Masamune.

"Dude, are you trying to compensate for something?" Reno cocked an eyebrow at Sephiroth.

This is going too far. Angrily striding over he roared his disapproval.

"WHAT DO YOU THINK YOU ARE DOING?" Reno turned around with alarm, swinging the sword at the same time. Sephiroth luckily was fast enough to duck the blade. It only snipped a few strands of hair off his bangs.

Now Sephiroth was beyond angry, he was beyond furious, he was beyond enraged. He was hopping mad. (lol) You could see dark clouds forming around his head.

"Sorry…yo." Reno smiled awkwardly. The "yo" seemed to set Sephiroth off. Screaming his rage he snatched his sword out of poor Reno's hand, and swiped at him. Reno yelped in surprise and ducked.

"Reno! Get out of here!" Kadaj yelled from behind his berserked brother, waving his arms wildly and trying to get the victims out of the apartment. Running and dodging Reno, Rude, and the rest of the kids ran out of the apartment screaming. Sephiroth ran after them, stopping at the door and shouting warnings.

"Nice meeting you too!" Yuffie poked her head back and yelled before running down the stairs. Sephiroth huffed at the door, and slammed it closed. Turning around to face his shivering brothers, he growled. "I don't ever want to see any of them in this apartment again you understand?"

The three frightened brothers nodded simultaneously, and slowly backed away. Sephiroth walked towards his room. That night he had nightmares about broken plates, clouds that have blue eyes, flying ninjas, and red goggles that go "Yo"**  
**

* * *

**Ughhh…not to happy about this chappie. Sort of boring, so sorry people. I'm a bit brain dead these days. I promise I'll try to make it more interesting.****Vincent: Why didn't you put me in the story?****  
Do you want to be chased by a crazy Sephiroth? I'm doing you a favor here.  
Vincent: True.  
I'll put you in a nicer story. (smiles nicely)  
Sephy: I hate you.  
I think you've told me that countless times. But thanks anyway…  
Sephy: No problem, I could go on all day. IhateyouIhateyouIhateyouIhateyou….  
Okokok. I get it geeze… I hope you don't hate me like Sephy does and review!**


	5. Reason 4

**10 Reasons Why Sephiroth Hates His Brothers: Chapter 4**

**So sorry about not updating these days. School work is crushing me. **

**Sephy: You've used that excuse too many times. **

**You have no sympathy do you Seph… **

**Sephy: Yes. You should have known that already. **

**Ok here it goes! Chapter 4!!  
**

* * *

**Reason 4: They are completely hopeless when it comes to taking care of people.**

Yazoo knew something was wrong the minute he woke up. Getting out of bed, he tiptoed passed his still sleeping brothers and tucked them into the blankets they had kicked off during the previous night.

He watched with a rare smile at Kadaj who slept peacefully on the couch and as Loz—who was kicked out of Sephiroth's bedroom on the second day— snored on the floor and walked into the hallway of their new apartment. The hallway was quiet, like always when he awoke. Being the first to get up he always gets the tables set up for breakfast.

None of the three younger brothers knew how to cook, or anything about the kitchen, much to Sephiroth's dismay. Sephiroth was always the one cooking breakfast but most of the time they eat out or get take outs because of Sephioth's unwillingness to cook anything.

Sephiroth was also well known for not being a morning person so none of the three hungry brothers dared disturb him until he is up and ready to go.

This morning doesn't seem to be any different from others; Sephiroth will finally get up at 11 in the morning, and the three brothers would wait with grumbling stomachs until then. Still there is something that is disturbing Yazoo. Walking over to his oldest brother's room he put his ear against it.

"Cough!! Cough! Hack!!" Yazoo frowned at the sounds of coughing behind the door. He knocked quietly, and waited for permission to open the door.

"Fhat do you want! (translation: what do you want?) cough" Some one croaked behind the door. Opening the door cautiously Yazoo peeked in. There laid Sephiroth in bed, his silver hair spread out around him. Piles of tissues were littered all over the floor plus a few empty beer bottles. Sephiroth turned around weakly and propped himself up to see who came in.

Yazoo jumped with surprise at Sephirtoh's face. The normally handsome Sephiroth was gone. His already pale lips were white as paper now and cracked with blood too. His blue-green eyes were blood-shot. His nose was red and all the colors were drained out of his cheeks. His silver hair, which usually seemed to have a life of its own now hung dead around his face.

To sum it all up, Sephiroth looked horrible, even a ghost would scream and run at the sight. It took all of Yazoo's will power to prevent himself from running back to the safety of his bed.

"Nii-chan what happened to you?" He asked trying to be as calm as possible. Sephiroth frowned at Yazoo and sniffed. Reaching over at the tissue box he growled as best as his sick voice could allow him.

"Fhat do you fhink haffened to me? (Translation: what do you think happened to me?)" Yazoo winced at Sephiroth's voice. It sounded like a dying horse that had a stuffy nose and a bone stuck in their throat. Seeing the blank look on Yazoo's face Sephiroth sighed.

"I'm fick." He muttered and dropped his head back onto the pillow. Yazoo immediately went into action. If his brother's sick then he's in charge. He walked over to Sephiroth and sat down next to him, but jumped right back up when his older brother coughed all over him.

Reaching down warily, he put his hand against his brother's forehead, only to yank it back immediately. Sephiroth was steaming hot. Frowning Yazoo walked into the bathroom connected to the room grabbed a small towel, and wetted it with cold water. Walking back outside he placed it on his sick brother's forehead. Sephiroth sighed with relief at the cool touch of his brother's hand and the towel against his steaming skin. Tucking in his brother the same way he did for Loz and Kadaj he got up and began picking up the used tissues on the bed and around it.

Yazoo shivered as he picked up each tissue delicately with his forefinger and thumb, like a bomb that was about to blow off his arm any minute. He quickly flung one after another with extreme accuracy at the wastebasket, and soon all the tissues were gone. Wiping sweat off his brow, and thinking about getting a good scrub for his fingers he got up and tested his brother's temperature again. After a few minutes of watching his brother slave away at picking up his gross hygiene Sephiroth had finally drifted of to sleep after a long sleepless night.

Yazoo tested his temperature and seeing that it was still hot grabbed the now warm towel and went into the bathroom to rewet it. He replaced it and went outside the room to get some water and medicine for Sephiroth**  
**

* * *

Kadaj sat up on the couch rubbing his eyes. Looking around he saw that Loz was still snoring on the floor. Smiling he got up and gently nudged Loz with his foot. Loz grunted and muttered " Chocobo…." before turning over onto his side. Chuckling to himself he jumped on his brother, rudely jolting Loz out of his dreams of chocobos and chocolate. 

"Huh whu?" Loz looked around sleepily; he still isn't quite out of the chocobo sized chocolate he was eating. A smack to the head finally brought him out of it. Turning around his sleep glazed eyes focused in on silver head. Smiling dreamily, he reached out and hugged it. "Choco! My silver chocobo!" Snuggling in close he almost crushed Kadaj's head under his muscular arms.

"Ughh…. let go of me Loz! You're killing me!!!!!!!!" Loz looked down, and realized that it wasn't Choco in his hand but his little brother. He gave an extra squeeze though before letting go, scratching his head with embarrassment.

"Sorry Kadaj. I didn't mean it, I though you were Choco." Kadaj huffed at his brother but didn't bug him about it. He was in a good mood today.

"Lets go and see what Yaz is up to!" Kadaj jumped up, dragging his brother after him loudly. They ran down the hallway in their pajamas but made an effort to slow down and make as little noise as they could when they crossed Sephiroth's room. They both knew what happens when they wake Sephiroth up. They started running again the minute they passed Sephiroth's room.

Suddenly Yazoo popped out of nowhere with a cup of water. Kadaj managed to skid to a stop right in front of Yazoo but Loz was unable to stop on such short notice and bumped into Kadaj who fell forward and into Yazoo. Yazoo, even with his amazing fast reflexes was not able to dodge Kadaj. He fell backward and so did the water in the cup. Loz watched it all in slow motion as the cup flew up and the water inside splashed all over Yazoo's surprised face as he fell onto his butt.

Yazoo winced when he made contact with the floor. The cup miraculously was still in his hand, unharmed except for the loss of water. Yazoo blinked and stared the wooden ceiling still a bit shocked about what had happened. He couldn't feel his back.

"Yaz? Yazoo? You ok?" Kadaj's worried face appeared above him, soon joined by Loz's. He didn't like it when people worry over him. Slowly getting up he winced; now he could feel his back.

"I'm fine, it just hurts." He said in his monotonic voice as he wiped the water of his face. Now he needed to get a new cup of water. A loud raspy cough came from behind Sephiroth's closed door. Looking back with fear Loz and Kadaj trembled.

"Did we wake nii-chan up?" Loz muttered as quietly as he could. Both brother trembled and huddled together like chickens during the winter, their minds picturing against their will what will be left after Sephiroth is done with them. Yazoo smiled at the sight of his trembling brothers.

"Nii-chan is sick today, I think he has a fever. I was just getting him a cup of water." He slowly got up again, his aching back protesting against the movement.

"Nii-chan is sick???" Kadaj and Loz stared at Yazoo with disbelief. "No way!"

Yazoo nodded to tell them that he wasn't kidding them. Waking past them, slowly shuffling he started for his room. "Can you guys get nii-chan a cup of hot water? I'm going to change into dry clothes." Kadaj and Loz nodded obediently and continued down to the kitchen.

* * *

"Poor nii-chan, he must be feeling so bad." Loz muttered in the kitchen. Kadaj nodded and rummaged through the medicine cabinet. There was nothing in there except an old box of little kids band-aid, a long expired bottle of Pepto-Bismol, and a big bottle of Advil that had mostly been consumed by Sephiroth. 

"There's no fever medicine in here." Kadaj murmured half to himself, and half to Loz. Loz didn't answer but opened the fridge to find something to satisfy his rumbling stomach. Reaching in he pulled out the only other thing besides eggs left in the fridge—a moldy bowl of guacamole. Giving it a sniff he grimaced, and rapidly shoved the bowl back inside the fridge.

"There's nothing to eat here…" He mumbled, opening each cabinet to find it empty of any food. Kadaj, after finally giving up on looking for medicine for Sephiroth decided to go check on him.

"Loz, why don't you make Sephiroth some tea?" He suggested before he left. "OK." Loz agreed half heartedly, still saddened by not finding anything he could consume.

Sephiroth was still sleeping so did not hear his little brother enter the room. He was sleeping on his side, with his back to Kadaj. The towel on his head had fallen off in his action of flipping around. Kadaj watched the peaceful rise and fall of the blanket on top of the sleeping Sephiroth and thought about how much he looked up to him. Walking over to the curled up figure he reached forward to pull up the blanket even more. His slight touch on Sephiroth's bare shoulder immediately woke him up. Turning around drowsily Sephiroth squinted his sleep filled eyes to see who had awoken him. He was greeted with a loud scream. Apparently Kadaj didn't have as much self control as Yazoo.

* * *

Loz was walking down the hallway, carefully trying not to burn both his hand with the hot tea and hot water. Suddenly he heard Kadaj's loud shriek. Running down the hallway he ran into Sephiroth's room. 

"Kadaj! What's wrong?" He ran towards his brother and looked at Sephiroth, trying to see what was wrong.

"HOLY SHIT!!" He yelled in surprise at Sephiroth's sleep lacked face, and flinging both his hands forward in surprise dropped both the tea and water on the poor and confused Sephiroth. Seems like Loz doesn't have much self control either.

Sephiroth screamed bloody murder the minute the hot liquids touched his bare skin. His shattering screams which sounded like croaking only seemed to cause his younger brothers to start screaming some more. Jumping up he ran for the bathroom, all the while brushing the burning fluids off his pale skin.

Yazoo ran into the room, dressed in the usual black skin-tight leather. Looking around he saw Kadaj and Loz huddled together; they looked like they saw a ghost. Hearing loud curses in the bathroom he ran in. Sephiroth was in the shower boxer and all, running cold water on himself and cursing.

"Nii-chan!!" He called to his brother, snapping Sephiroth out of his fit. "I-I'm g-gonna k-kill them!!" He yelled—or rather croaked—trembling from the cold water. Yazoo pulled a towel off the rack and pulled his shivering brother out of the shower, getting his clothes wet again.

"Nii-chan now you're going to be even sicker." He scolded his big brother like a mother. "A-achooo!" Sephiroth could only respond with a sneeze.

Pulling a tissue out of the tissue box Yazoo handed it to Sephiroth. Sephiroth sneezed again into the Kleenex and shivered. Yazoo surveyed his brother; his skin was now not only white but also red in the places where the tea and water touched him. He looked even more terrible. Feeling his forehead for his temperature Yazoo realized that Sephiroth had gotten a bit better, but that cold shower wouldn't help much.

Leading his brother out into the living room Yazoo instructed him to get into something warmer than his wet boxers. Sephiroth, though still shivering was able to give the two jumbled brothers in the corner a long and evil glare.

"Change and get into bed nii-chan." Yazoo directed, and left Sephiroth in privacy, leading his dazed brothers out of the room.

"What did you two do?" He asked them the minute they were out of the bedroom. "W-we didn't do anything." They stammered.

"You must have done something. I don't think Sephiroth jumped into the cold shower for fun."

"Maybe the fever got to his head?" Loz suggested. Yazoo wasn't amused.

"Come on Yaz, did you see nii-chan's face? He looked terrible!" Kadaj's face scrunched up at the memory. Yazoo just shook his head. "I know what you mean…" He muttered.

"Let's get something to eat for nii-chan and us." Looking at the clock Yazoo realized that it was already 11 o' clock. They still didn't have anything to eat yet.

* * *

"What are we going to do???" Loz wailed. He and Kadaj were in the kitchen, Yazoo was checking up on Sephiroth again. It was past noon. Loz clutched his stomach and moaned. 

"I'm a growing boy, I need to eat!" He wailed again. Kadaj rolled his eyes. He was feeling the hunger too.

"You're not a boy anymore Loz, and besides I'm hungry too, but do you see me complaining?" Crossing his arms he leaned against their empty fridge. Yazoo entered the kitchen and looked at his brothers.

"Sephiroth needs to eat something." He informed them. They stared back at him, stomach growling. "What do we have?" Yazoo asked Kadaj. Getting up Kadaj pulled opened the fridge door.

"Ummmm…. 2 eggs and a… ewww!" Holding his nose with one hand he pulled out the bowl of guacamole with the other hand. Throwing it carelessly into the sink he continued looking.

"That's all…" He mumbled miserably.

"2 eggs?" Yazoo asked in disbelief. "You must be kidding me.."

Loz began rummaging in the cabinets. "This is all we have." He plopped down a box of salt and a container of olive oil.

"Well I guess Sephiroth's having eggs today." Yazoo shrugged.

"Hey what about us?" Loz and Kadaj asked, frowning.

"Sephiroth is our top priority today. We feed him first, besides he's the oldest, and he's sick." Yazoo picked up the two eggs delicately and walked over to the stove. Setting them carefully on the counter he took out a pan and called his brothers over. The three stared at the pan.

"Uhhhh Yaz.. I've never cooked before." Kadaj said. "Me too…" Loz muttered. Yazoo looked helplessly back and forth at the pan, hoping that if he stared long and hard enough then the eggs would magically cook themselves. Miracles don't happen, or at least they don't happen when Yazoo's around.

"Don't worry, I've watched Sephiroth plenty of times before. I can do it." Pulling up his sleeves Yazoo prepared to get to work. _It's just eggs, it couldn't be that hard. I've been in tougher situations._ He thought, though he didn't feel that confident. Picking up the first egg warily he paused, trying to remember what exactly Sephiroth did. He put the egg down again, remembering that he needed to heat up the pan first. Kadaj and Loz watched him from the side with interest.

Turning on the stove, he turned the knob towards high. Pausing he turned it back to low, _no maybe it's medium…_ this time he turned to medium. _Wait or is it high? _After quite a while of switching the knob from high to medium to low and back to high again, Yazoo finally settled on medium fire. He set the pan on the fire and picked up the egg from its safe place on the counter top.

He held the egg over the pan with both hands and panicked. He paused in mid motion and stared at the egg.

"What's wrong Yaz? Why are you pausing?" Kadaj asked timidly, half afraid at this new process they are going through. Yazoo turned around with a grim face.

"I don't know how to crack the egg." He muttered. The three brothers stared at each other in complete helplessness. Why was making eggs so tough?

"Here let me do it." Loz offered, and took the egg from his brother with such carefulness, it was like he was handling a fragile artifact. He took it in one hand, held it over the pan and looked at his brothers. He looked like he was going to his own grave. Both his brothers nodded to encourage him on. Squeezing the egg, he crushed it in his hand. The egg white, yolk and egg shell oozed down his hand into the sizzling pan.

"Loz!! You're not supposed to do it like that!" Kadaj yelled angrily and swiped Loz's egg covered hand away from the pan.

"Hey at least I got the egg cracked!" Loz defended himself, washing his hand in the sink.

"You didn't cracked it, you crushed it!" Kadaj yelled, pulling out a pair of chopsticks and trying to get the egg shells out of the mess in the pan.

"I can't help but think we're missing something…" Yazoo murmured, deep in thought.

"I'll crack the second one." Kadaj grabbed the second egg of the counter, giving up on picking out the countless little pieces of egg shell. He tried to remember how Sephiroth did it. Cracking the egg against the pan he held it over the pan and tried to crack it some more, but completely crushed it in his hand like Loz, splattering egg white all over his face and into his open mouth.

Coughing and spitting he dropped the whole egg into the pan, only making it worse when he tried to wipe his eyes with his egg covered hands. Yelling he blindly bumped toward the sink. Loz laughed as his brother crashed into the fridge and went over to help him only to be whacked in the head by Kadaj, who was waving his arms blindly. Yazoo ignored the two stooges and their yelling and concentrated on the meal he was trying to make.

What was in the pan was pitiful. There was hardly any egg, but plenty of eggshells. Picking up the chopsticks he picked at the eggshells, trying to get them out of the egg but finally giving up. Some eggshells won't matter much right? Remembering the salt Yazoo grabbed the box of salt and searched in the drawers for a spoon. Finding the smallest spoon he could find—which wasn't all that small—he dumped in two spoonful of salt crystals.

Sighing with relief at their finished task Yazoo turned around to see what his brothers are up to, yet he couldn't help to think that he forgot something.

10 minutes later……

"Do you smell something?" Loz asked, sniffing the air. Yazoo looked up from the book he was reading, sniffing the air and frowning. Something did smell weird.

"I smell something too." Kadaj muttered, sniffing like a dog. Yazoo frowned, trying to remember then jumped up in alarm.

"The eggs!" Throwing his book at his brothers he ran into the kitchen. Grabbing the spatula he had put out earlier he flipped the burning egg with difficulty. Sighing with relief he saw that the egg wasn't as burnt as he expected it to be. It seemed so dry though… Turning off the fire he let the egg sit for a while before scooping it into a plate with the spatula. Grabbing a fork and a glass of water he walked toward Sephiroth's room.

Kadaj and Loz walked over to their brother and studied the lump in the plate.

"Doesn't look too bad." Loz muttered. He wouldn't eat the thing in the plate even if it's the last edible thing on earth.

"Come on let's take it to nii-chan." Yazoo mumbled, handing the plate to Kadaj, who held it at an arm's length.

"Are you sure this is safe?" Kadaj asked, grimacing at the egg. They walked into Sephiroth's room. He was awake now, though he still looked like a sleep lacked skeleton.

"You guys (cough) were so noisy." He croaked tiredly. "I couldn't (cough) sleep.."

"Here you go nii-chan. We made it for you." Kadaj forced on a smile and shoved the plate in Sephiroth's face. Taking the plate fork Sephiroth stared at the lump on his plate.

"Should I be scared?" He raised an eyebrow at his silver haired brothers. They smiled back as innocently as they could. Coughing and sniffing, he timidly poked at the egg.

"It moved…" he joked. It seemed that the fever did mess up Sephiroth's head. "Did you add oil?" he asked Yazoo. Yazoo's stomach tightened up… so that was the thing that was missing. No wonder the egg was so dry. Taking the nervous smile on Yazoo's face as a yes, Sephirtoh moved the food around the plate. Sephiroth's stomach growled and without a second thought he dug the fork in and shoveled half of the food into his mouth.

Kadaj, Loz, and Yazoo all watched for Sephiroth's reaction. Sephiroth slowly chewed, crunching on the eggshells, suddenly his face contorted, and the next thing the brothers knew there was chewed up eggs all over their faces.

Coughing extra hard Sephiroth reached out for the water that was not there. Yazoo was still in shocked, the glass of water in his hand. Wheezing Sephiroth reached out and snatched the glass with much difficulty. Chugging down the water, he coughed some more when it went down the wrong pipe. Now Sephiroth's pale face was red from choking. Kadaj was the first to realize that his precious older brother was choking to death and began pounding on his back.

"Nii-chan!! You ok? Come on don't die on me!" Pounding on his back, Kadaj cried. Sephiroth's coughing fit finally stopped, thanks to Kadaj. But Kadaj didn't seem to realize that and continued hitting his brother's back.

"Kadaj! Stop it you're killing nii-chan!" Yazoo yelled at his brother, wiping eggs off his face. He's never eating the darn things again. Kadaj snapped out of his desperate fit and stopped pounding on his poor brother's back. Sephiroth seemed to tremble with rage, his head down, building up all the anger in his chest before he unleash it on the three beings before him.

"F-first you pour hot tea on me, then you feed me poison, and now you're trying to break my back…..ARE YOU GUYS TRYING TO KILL ME????" He screamed at them. The three brothers stared at him and started laughing, to them the scream sounded like a loud croak. Dropping back onto the bed he sighed loudly, giving up on them.

"Get out of my room you worms." He murmured hoarsely before starting to cough again. Kadaj, Loz, and Yazoo immediately stopped their laughing and surged forward to help Sephiroth. Sephiroth jumped back, putting out an arm to keep them away all the while still coughing.

"Don't (cough) come (cough) near (cough) me! (coughcough)" Disappointed, the three young man left the room.

"I'm still hungry…" Loz muttered. The stomach of the other two brothers grumbled in reply.

"Come on guys; let's see if Sephiroth still have some drinking money left…" Yazoo muttered and led his brothers into the living room.

The next day….

"Hey guys, I'm all better!" Sephiroth walked out of his room extra early, and in a good mood. His sinus had cleared, his fever disappeared, and his cough gone away. Smiling he walked into the living room expecting all his brothers waiting for him for breakfast. There was no one there.

Frowning he walked into the kitchen. There was no one there either. "Kadaj? Loz? Yazoo?" He called for his brothers, when he reached their room. Opening their door he peeked in.

The three brothers were still in bed. He walked in, gently nudging Loz on the floor and shaking Kadaj in the couch and Yazoo in the bed.

"Come on you guys! I'll make you breakfast this morning! I'm feeling much better." He said joyously, sitting on the edge of the bed and shaking Yazoo again. All three groaned and Yazoo turned around. Sephiroth's eyes widened at his brother's face. Yazoo's face was pale white, his eyes blood shot, and his nose bright red.

"N-nii- chan…." Kadaj moaned miserably from his spot on the couch. Sephiroth turned to see that Kadaj looked the same, and so did Loz, who was sniffing and wiping his nose with his sleeves on the floor. Yazoo coughed and croaked.

"I-I fink that you got us fick... (Translations: I think that you got us sick….)" Sephiroth moaned, and slapped himself on the forehead. Here it goes all over again.

* * *

**Woah that was long…. Took me forever to type this chapter up… and I didn't want to split it up… Sorry if Seph was sort of out of character towards the end… he was just happy about not being sick anymore. I put in translations for some of their sick talk just for the heck of it. lol, poor Kadaj, Loz and Yazoo.****  
Sephy: What about me?  
What about you?  
Sehpy: Now that's just cruel.  
What about it?  
Sephy: …….. I hate you…  
I love you too Sephy lol. I'm gonna be killed by fangirls for saying that… ahhhh!!! Here they come!!!! (Gets run over by fangirls in cars)  
(weakly) Review please...**


	6. Reason 5: Thanksgiving Special!

**10 Reasons why Sephiroth hates his brothers Chapter 5**

**Sorry for not updating in such a long time! I had the biggest writer's block ever… plus I was kinda lazy…. **

**Disclaimer: I don't own any characters in this story, no matter how much I wish it. The only person I own is Tylee. (She's from another one of my story about Kadaj, Yazoo, Sephiroth, and Loz! Go read it!) **

* * *

**Reason 5: Thanksgiving Special**

Sephiroth hates Thanksgiving. As far as he knew there is nothing he needs to be thankful about in his life. His younger brothers on the other hand finds Thanksgiving a day to stuff themselves full of turkey and food. On this fateful day of turkey, food, and giving thanks, Sephiroth sat brooding in his room.

"Nii-chan!! Come on out! Toay is Thanksgiving and we need to go out and buy a turkey!" He scowled at the muffled voice of his younger brother outside the door. He knew that all three teenagers are outside his door, eagerly awaiting their feast.

"Who cares about Thanksgiving? And why buy a turkey this year? You remember what happened last year?" He raised his voice enough to allow Kadaj, Loz, and Yazoo to hear him. On the other side of the wooden door Kadaj's eyebrows bunched up at the mention of last year.

The turkey last year was grand. They were giving turkeys out for charity, and Kadaj, Loz, and Yazoo were able to snatch one. Sephiroth with his limited knowledge of how to properly roast a turkey decided to stick the 16 pound bird in their tiny oven that couldn't even bake cake well enough. Let's just say they didn't get to eat their turkey on Thanksgiving Day that year. And in order to pay the electricity fee for the oven the three brothers didn't get their Christmas present that year either.

This year though, Kadaj is going to make sure their Thanksgiving doesn't get ruin again by an oven.

"Come on nii-chan, we still got our turkey last year… just a few weeks later. But this year our Thanksgiving is going to be fool proof! We'll order a precooked turkey this year and then we can heat it up!" Kadaj said optimistically. He heard Sephiroth humph. After that no more sound came out of his room.

"You're acting like a big baby nii-chan!" Loz yelled and pounded on the door. Yazoo pushed Loz aside and tried the door knob. It was unlocked. Opening the door he walked in, fearless. If his brothers wanted a Thanksgiving, they are getting one and no one is going to stop them, not even Sephiroth.

Sephiroth was sitting on the edge of his bed with his back to them, arms crossed, and beer bottle in hand, apparently trying to drink his misery away. He turned around and sent daggers at them with his glare.

"Get out of my room." His voice was dripping with irritation. Yazoo tried the best he could to glare back at his unreasonable brother's blue-green eyes, but was unable to. Giving in to Sephiroth's dominance he lowered his gaze and muttered.

"Please nii-chan, Thanksgiving only comes around once a year…" Hearing the pleading from the most sensible of the brothers, Sephiroth couldn't help but turn down the level of his gaze a bit. He saw the other two enter the room, and saw the disappointment in their eyes. He could feel his heart melt at the sight of his poor motherless brothers. He knew that he was a bad brother, not fit for taking care of kids like them, but he trys his best.

_The least you could do for them is to give them a Thanksgiving dinner._ An angel that looked similar to him with a halo appeared on his shoulder and scolded him. _Who cares about them? You know you hate them; they don't deserve a whole turkey! _A horned devil that looked like him too popped up on his other shoulder and advised him.

He looked at the two mini Sephiroths on his shoulder, one dressed in white and the other in red, looked at the beer bottle he had in his hand, and dropping the beer bottle on the floor decided not to drink for a while. Turning his head around, he glanced at his three brothers, and gave in to their sad, disappointed eyes. His poor heart just couldn't take it. Getting up with a sigh he growled at them, "Go get my keys."

Loz, Yazoo, and Kadaj stared at each other with shock and with a whoop ran out of the room to grab the keys for a trip to the supermarket.

* * *

It was hard to find a store that's open on Thanksgiving Day. In fact Sephiroth doesn't think that any store is open on Thanksgiving. Glimpsing at the rear view mirror he watched as Loz and Kadaj searched excitedly for an open supermarket. Quickly looking to his side he could Yazoo, who was sitting next to him, starting to realize with disappointment that there are no stores opened on Thanksgiving. Frowning at the thought of dealing with his let down brothers later he drove on.

"LOOK! NII-CHAN! THERE'S AN OPEN STORE!!!" Jumping at the loud shriek of Loz, Sephiroth slammed his foot instinctively on the gas pedal.

The car screeched forward at full speed, pushing the screaming brothers (Loz and Kadaj) into their seats. Sephiroth immediately smashed the same foot on the break, causing the car to jerk to a shrieking stop. Sephiroth's head flew forward, banging on the wheel. Fire works went off in front of his eyes, and his ears ranged. After the Fourth of July fireworks finally stopped he lifted his head up, and placed his chin tiredly on the steering wheel.

"Everyone ok?" He muttered. Whimpers from Loz, and Kadaj, and murmurs of living with nutcases from Yazoo confirmed his question. Thank god it was Thanksgiving Day and no one was outside, who knew what the accident would look like if there was cars and people on the streets.

The almost accident quieted down his brothers and with his heart still pumping, and ears still ringing Sephiroth pulled in to the empty parking lot of the opened store.

* * *

Sephiroth swears that when the angel on his shoulder popped up again he is going to strangle it with its white robe and halo. Pushing the overloaded shopping cart along the cereal aisle he mentally muttered curses at his traitor heart. Kadaj, and Loz, flitted around dumping stuffs into his cart. Yazoo walked by his side studying all the different brands of cereal on the shelf.

"No." He said firmly when one of the brothers held up something for him to put in the cart.

"But wha-"

"No."

"Can w-"

"No."

"Nii-"

"NONONONONO!!!" Sephiroth felt like all he knew how to say was no as he sent the overeager Kadaj and Loz away. They were like a swarm of flys, when you send them away with their items they always come back with more.

"How many times have I told you not to put that in the cart!!" He yelled at Loz for the fourth time as again for the fourth time Loz attempted to put the box of Chocobo cracker into the metal cart. Loz pouted and left to put the box away. Kadaj ran up excitedly and shoved a cereal box into his face.

"Can we get this nii-chan?" Sephiroth pushed the box aside, and grinded his teeth with annoyance. "No." He muttered. Disappointed, Kadaj walked away, slumped. Seeing the youngest brother walking away like that, Sephiroth spoke before he could think.

"Fine, we'll get-" He clamped his hand over his mouth before he could finish the sentence. But it was too late. Kadaj heard him and ran back with a smile. Sephiroth sighed as another cereal box was added to the collection in the cart.

"We have to get the turkey too." Yazoo quietly reminded Sephiroth. Sephiroth nodded tiredly and moved on out of the cereal section and into the hot foods section.

* * *

Staring at the precooked turkeys for sale, Sephiroth silently wondered if they could really eat all that meat. Loz, and Kadaj had their faces glued to the glass separating them from the bird. Even Yazoo stood next to them and stared with a smile. Sephiroth looked up at the big beefy man behind the counter who was looking pissed about Kadaj and Loz breathing all over the clean glass.

"Don't wipe ya' dirty spit all ova' da glass kids." He growled at the excited Kadaj and Loz. Yazoo frowned at the fat man, nobody speaks to his brothers that way. Sephiroth on the other hand could care less. He was tired and wanted to go home. This was too much excitement for him.

"I would like to get a turkey." He said to the man. The man turned and glared at him. Sephiroth glared back. Seeing that Sephiroth wasn't someone who you would want to mess with the man got a bit more polite.

"Which one do ya want, sir?" He asked. Sephiroth looked at the different sized birds and opened him mouth to speak.

"The biggest one!" Kadaj, and Loz both said at the same time. Sephiroth frowned, that wasn't what he wanted!

"Da biggest one huh? Well, do I 'ave the right turkey fa' you." The man said, and walked to the back. Sephiroth glowered at Kadaj and Loz, but then shrugged. It would be good to have a big turkey, then he wouldn't have to worry about meals for the next few weeks. Beside, how big could a turkey get?

He heard grunts from the big man and looked up as he dropped with a loud bam a gigantic turkey on the counter. Sephiroth eyes widened at the sight of the bird, and all that meat. This thing could feed them for the next few months!

"This baby must weight at least 25 pounds." The big man laughed at the expressions on Kadaj, Loz, Yazoo's face, and most especially the expression on Sephiroth's face.

"Enjoy ya'self kids." He laughed again and walked away. Sephiroth walked up to the counter and with some difficulty, managed to get the turkey into the cart. Thinking again of all the ways of how to strangle his angel conscience he pushed his cart to the single checkout line.

* * *

There was a young girl at the checkout line reading a magazine. Loz, Kadaj, and Yazoo began unloading the chip bags, sodas, chocobo cookies, candies, chocolates, and the box of Chocobo cookie Loz had begged for and finally got in the cart. The fruits and vegetables were basically outnumbered by the junk food in the cart. The girl didn't even look up from the magazine.

Yazoo waited patiently for the girl to start checking out. After a few seconds the girl still didn't move.

"Uh, excuse me…." Yazoo looked at the brunette's red nametag: Hello! My name is Tylee. "Miss. Tylee we're ready to check out." He said politely. The girl didn't stir. Frowning, Yazoo informed her again. Still she didn't move. Sephiroth, who had finished flipping through the magazines at the magazine rack, came over to see what was taking so long.

Seeing that the girl was what was holding up the line he walked over and snatched the magazine out of the girl's hands.

"Hey!" The girl yelped and tried to grab the magazine back. "We're ready." Sephiroth growled at her and threw the magazine back at her. Frowning, the girl blew a huge bubble with her gum and popped it loudly, making the sound echo across the empty supermarket.

"Fine, fine no need to be so pissy about it.. gee." The girl muttered and started scanning the items, while Loz slammed the huge turkey onto the conveyer belt, making the girl jump.

"Hey, hey watch it! This conveyer belt cost more than you!" The girl yelled at Loz, who was blushing from embarrassment.

"Just keep scanning." Sephiroth muttered through clenched teeth. The girl glared at him with her icy blue-grey eyes under all her heavy makeup, but kept scanning.

Finally, after all the items were scanned Sephiroth unwillingly parted with much of his money, and pushed his cart out of the check out line towards the exit, not waiting for his brothers and in a hurry to get out of the supermarket and into the car.

"Happy Thanksgiving!" Kadaj said happily to the cash register girl as he left. The girl didn't say anything but blew another pink bubble at him and winked.

* * *

The dinner was actually pretty good. The turkey tasted much better than last year (definitely). The only thing they burned was the gravy, and the mash potato was a bit over salted but otherwise everything was perfect. Now Sephiroth sat in front of the TV, sipping his beer. Kadaj, Loz, and Yazoo sat sprawled around the TV with him smiling with content from their bulging bellies.

"I can have another bite.." Loz said dreamily. Yazoo, and Kadaj nodded in agreement. Suddenly the three of them looked up at their oldest brother. Sephiroth didn't notice them creeping in closer; his attention was on the TV. He started when felt three warm bodies surrounding him. Looking around, he saw Loz on his left, Yazoo on his right, and Kadaj, in his lap, all smiling at him.

"What are you three doing?" He asked, ready to push them away. Their reply stopped him.

"Happy Thanksgiving, nii-chan!" All three chanted at the same time.

"You don't know how thankful we are to have such a good brother like you." Yazoo said, smiling.

"Yeah! There's no brother out there like you nii-chan!" Loz said happily.

"We wouldn't trade you for anyone else in the world!" Kadaj wiggled in closer and exclaimed.

"But…. I…" Sephiroth tried to deny the three's compliments. He knew that even a toy chocobo could do better than him.

"No, nii-chan you are a good brother. Thank you for putting up with us." Kadaj murmured, already falling asleep in his brother's arms.

"Yes thank you." Yazoo and Loz muttered too, yawning.

Sephiroth sat there for quite awhile, with the sleeping Loz and Yazoo using his shoulder as a pillow, and the sleeping Kadaj in his arms. Slowly he smiled. Maybe there is something to be thankful for in his life. "Happy Thanksgiving, boys." He muttered quietly.

**

* * *

WEEE!!! Happy Thanksgiving!!!! I want to give thanks to all the people who ever read any one of my stories and those people who reviewed!!!!! THANK YOU SO MUCH!!! This chapter was written for you people! I want to thank Kysic for reading my stories and supporting me! Thank you Kysic!!!! Go and read her story! It's soo cute! And I want to thank-**

**Sephiroth: This isn't the Oscars, Northsky. Get over yourself.  
**

**Come on! Its Thanksgiving! Let me give out all my thanks! Well anyways people, Sephiroth is right, this isn't the Oscars but still THANK YOU!! Hope you all had a wonderful Thanksgiving and stuff yourself with food!!!**


	7. Reason 6

**Ten Reasons Why Sephiroth Hates His Brothers: Chapter 6  
**

**This was a long, long time. Sorry everyone. My brain is currently on vacation. Its Christmas break, everyone needs a vacation…..and plus finals at school have drained the power out of my brain so this one might be….a little dry. SO SORRY! **

**Here we go then!

* * *

**

**Reason 6: They touch his stuffs without permission.**

Sephiroth pulled out his sock drawer and fumbled through it. Getting frustrated, he jerked out the whole drawer and flipped it. The soft sound of cotton socks hitting the floor was suddenly drowned out by a loud clunk. A bulging sock rolled out and stopped when it hit the wall. Smiling and dropping the now empty drawer on his bed he picked up the sock and shook it. Out of the top of the sock came a tin can. He picked the old rusted can up and shook it again. The coins inside jingled like a merry tune against his ears.

_So Kadaj and the others didn't find it last time._ He smirked at that time when his brothers sneaked into his room to look for his drinking money, trying to be as sneaky and quiet as they could. They looked in every corner and nook but just didn't think of his sock drawer. He had known that they were in his room, and they got hell for it, but he didn't know what they were looking for.

Opening the can Sephiroth dumped out the money like a child tearing open his gift on Christmas Day. Gils clanked out and rolled everywhere.

"Nii-chan, where did you get all that money??" A curious voice made him look up at the opened door. Kadaj peered down at his older brother, crouched on the floor counting the golden coins.

"I didn't steal them if that's what you were thinking of." Sephiroth answered and turn his attention back to gathering up the scattered coins and counting them. Kadaj blushed because that was exactly what he was thinking of. His brother isn't the most honest man out there.

"What are you going to do with them?" Sephiroth didn't answer but kept counting. Kadaj walked in and crouched down slowly next to Sephiroth, ready to spring up if the older man suddenly strikes. He watched his brother's furrowed brows and green catlike eyes with intent, waiting, waiting for him to answer him.

Sephiroth could practically feel Kadaj breathing on him. Suddenly he swiped at the teenager with his hand. Kadaj let out a squeak and fell back on his tailbone while trying to get away.

"Nii-chan!" He whined, rubbing his sore spot.

"Don't bother me, mongrel." Sephiroth gave Kadaj a warning look, and gestured at the door. Kadaj pouted and stood up, all the while whining and groaning about the pain and half dragged himself out the door. Once he got out to the hallway he stopped whining and ran towards his room.

"Yaz! Loz! I know where nii-chan kept his money!!" He yelled as he yanked their bedroom door open.

"Aww….not that." Loz looked up and moaned. He was playing cards with Yazoo on the floor. Yazoo took the chance when Loz's attention was somewhere else to switch the card in his hand with another in the pile.

"I have a big bruise from that!" Loz rubbed his arm. Yazoo sneaked a quick peak at Loz's cards while he had his hand lowered and smiled.

"Kadaj, if you are suggesting that we go and retrieve that money again, I don't think so." Yazoo said calmly and he set down some cards from his hand. "Your turn, Loz."

Loz looked at the cards on the floor and groaned. "I give Yaz, you win." Yazoo smiled smugly and started cleaning up the card.

"I don't want to go and get the money, I'm not gonna risk my life again! I was just saying I know where it is." Kadaj muttered.

"Well then wise one, would you like to tell us where it is?" Yazoo asked, giving his brother the attention he was looking for. Kadaj beamed and smiled. _So easily pleased. _Yazoo thought as he shuffled the deck of card.

"In his sock drawer! He had so much money in that old can. I seriously thought he robbed a bank or something." Kadaj exclaimed.

"Sock drawer? Why didn't we think of it?" Yazoo wondered out loud.

"Because no one wanted to touch nii-chan's socks, that's why." Loz answered him.

"I'm going out!" Sephiroth's voice interrupted the brother's conversations. Kadaj looked out the room just in time to see Sephiroth put on his coat.

"Nii-chan, it's late. Where are you going?" He called out.

"To the store. I'll be back soon." Sephiroth called back and walked out. Kadaj shrugged and sat down for a game with his brothers.

"Probably off to spend all that money."

* * *

Kadaj was thirsty and there was nothing to drink. There was no water, no tea, no juice, no nothing. Sure he could drink from the sink faucet but he's paranoid. He looked around the empty kitchen. It was early in the morning and he doesn't have money to go out and buy something to drink. That was Sephiroth's job. Suddenly he noticed a small colorful box in the corner, next to the fridge. _That wasn't there last night…_ he thought. Picking it up, he saw that it was torn open on the top. There were bottles inside. They look like the beer bottles Sephiroth sometimes were drinking from. 

He studied it, turning it around in his hand. There was no sign that says beer, nothing that indicated that it was alcohol. Instead in big bold letter underneath the name brand it said LEMON FLAVORED.

"Looks safe…" Kadaj muttered. Most of the time the beverage Sephiroth buys is beer but who's ever heard of lemon flavored beer? Besides, Sephiroth did mention about not drinking anymore, all the while muttering something about angels and devils sitting on his shoulders giving him headaches.

"Hey Kadaj! Is there anything to drink? I'm thirsty!" Loz yelled as he walked in the kitchen and sat down in one of the chairs.

"God Loz, do you always have to be so loud? Here." Kadaj passed the bottle in his hand to his brother. Loz studied it with suspicion and looked up at the younger brother.

"What?" Kadaj asked as he dug out another bottle. "Nothing." Loz said and tried to open the bottle.

"Let me get a bottle opener." Kadaj said and walked toward the drawers.

"No need." Loz muttered and popped open the bottle without so much as a grunt.

"Show off." Kadaj joked as he handed his bottle to his brother while taking the one Loz had already opened and took a sip.

"Hey." Loz opened the bottle in his hand and took a swig. "Bleh!" Loz gagged. Kadaj on the other hand was still quietly sipping from the bottle. _Tastes pretty good. _He thought to himself.

"You gotta take it slow, Loz." Kadaj enlightened his brother.

"Yes, o wise one." Loz mocked and faked a well flourished bow, but took his brother's advice and took small sips.

"It does taste ok." He muttered and took another sip.

_After a while_

"H-hey Kadaj, your cheeks are turning red." Loz squinted at his brother and giggled. He giggled again and reached for another bottle.

"This stuff taste good! (Hic)" Kadaj hiccupped as he downed his second bottle.

"Maybe Yaz-Yazoo would like some." Loz suggested, giggling.

"Yes Loz, maybe Yazoo would like some!" Kadaj grinned from ear to ear and pulled out another bottle.

"Let's go!" Kadaj pointed at the door and jumped up. Loz got up, giggled, and stumbled after his brother. "Chocobooo!!! Wait!!!" He cried, giggling to himself.

They stumbled down the hallway, crying out the most ridiculous things. They yanked open the bathroom door and looked in. There was Yazoo, still in his pajamas and brushing his teeth. He turned around in surprise, his mouth covered in toothpaste foam.

"AHHH!!" Kadaj yelled and pointed at his brother. Yazoo jumped at the accusing finger pointing at him.

"Watsa matter?" Loz asked, giggling and poking his head in the bathroom. Kadaj pulled Loz into the corner and whispered to him as quietly as he could.

"Look at poor Yaz, he's foaming." The two of them looked at Yazoo from their corner, eyes squinting. Yazoo just stared at his two crazy brothers, his toothbrush still in his hand, not even bothering to wash off the toothpaste foam that is now dripping onto his pajamas.

"We must save him! He is dehydrating like that crab on TV!" Kadaj yelled with authority and shoved the bottle at Yazoo. Yazoo backed off and stared at Kadaj.

"Yazoo darling! You must drink this! Don't worry, we'll save you!!!" Kadaj again shoved the bottle towards Yazoo.

"Kadaj….." Yazoo mumbled, and pushed the bottle away. Kadaj suddenly stopped all his yelling and dropped his hands as in defeat. Loz giggled in the corner.

'Loz!" Kadaj looked up, his eyes glittering. Yazoo cringed at that look and slowly backed away. Loz giggled and immediately stood attention to Kadaj's command.

"Hold the patient down, Sergeant Loz! We'll have to do this the hard way!!!" Loz giggled and turned towards Yazoo. Yazoo tried to run the other way but was cornered. Loz got the poor guy into a headlock and giggled. Yazoo choked and gasped for breath as his brother's arms squeeze his throat and close of his air passage.

"Open up!" Kadaj shouted as he tried to open the bottle. Loz giggled, "Here." He let go of Yazoo and took the bottle, opening it with ease. Yazoo collapsed on the floor, gagging and wheezing, foam still around his mouth. Kadaj took the bottle back and gestured at Loz, and before Yazoo could recover, he was once again put into a headlock, this time more lightly.

"Drink Yaz." Kadaj shoved the open bottle at Yazoo. Yazoo closed his mouth and turned his head. It must be this drink that made his brothers like this. Suddenly he felt fingers tickling his sides. He closed his eyes and shut his mouth, refusing to break down in laughter. The tickling became more and more unbearable. Finally Yazoo laughed and screeched, trying to twist away from Loz.

Kadaj took this chance and stuck the mouth of the bottle into Yazoo's mouth and poured. Yazoo gagged and swallowed the drink along with all the toothpaste in his mouth. Kadaj kept pouring until the whole bottle was finished then dropped the bottle and clapped with delight while Loz giggled like crazy.

"There don't you feel much better now, Yaz?" Kadaj looked at his brother who now has a strange look in his eyes. Yazoo gave Kadaj a lopsided grin. Loz let go of him and giggled. Yazoo dropped onto the floor and curled up like a cat.

"Yaz? Yaz?" Kadaj kicked Yazoo and laughed.

"Yaz? Yaz?? Funny name. Aaz, Baz, Caz, Daz…." Loz giggled to himself and started muttering. Yazoo suddenly jumped up and laughed, startling the other two into silence.

"Captain Yazoo reporting for duty!!!" He yelled with a smile. Kadaj laughed like crazy and jumped next to him. "Colonel Kadaj reporting for duty!!" Loz looked at them and giggled. "Sergeant….uhh…uhh…uhh….." Loz lapsed into silence, wondering what his name was.

"Loz dummy, your name is Loz." Kadaj reminded him. Loz looked confused for a moment and giggled. "Sergeant Loz reporting for duty!!" The three of them marched out of the bathroom, singing, shouting, laughing, and in Loz's case, giggling.

* * *

Sephiroth doesn't like to have his Sunday mornings sleep-ins cut short. In fact he doesn't like any of his mornings cut short. He just doesn't want to wake up for another day of headaches and annoying brothers. His brothers understand this and doesn't make a single noise until he's awake, but this morning…….. 

"_ON THE FIRST DAY OF CHRISTMAS MY TRUE LOVE GAVE TO ME!!!!!! ONE CHICKEN IN AN APPLE TREE!! ON THE FIFTEENTH DAY OF CHRISTMAS MY TRUE LOVE GAVE TO ME!!!!!!!!!!! FIVE HUNDRED AND NINTY NINE PIPPERS DRUMMING!!!!! ON THE…….._"

Sephiroth opened an eye and frowned. Fifteenth day of Christmas? He has had the song stuck in his head plenty of times to have memorized that dreaded song. He was pretty sure that there was no fifteenth day of Christmas. And last time he checked, it was a partridge in a pear tree, not a chicken in an apple tree.

"What the…." He hid his head in the pillow trying to drown out the horribly off tune singing. It was still there, now an horribly off tune buzz. Getting up with a groan he looked at the clock. It was still 9:00—to early to get up on a Sunday. Suddenly his bedroom door banged open and his three brothers stumbled in, a bottle in each hand, spilling it's content all over the floor, and singing at their loudest.

"ON THE SIX HUNDRED SIXTY SEVENTH DAY OF CHRISTMAS MY UNCLE GAVE TO ME!!!! MY UNCLE….my uncle…..uhhhh…." The three of them stopped, unable to think of anything. They stood there while Sephiroth stared. Then he noticed the bottle in their hands.

"What is that?" He asked and pointed at the bottle. Kadaj looked around, "WHAT IS WHAT, GENERAL NII-CHAN!!" Sephiroth winced; Kadaj's voice was too loud for the morning.

He snatched the bottle from Loz, who gave out a loud, "Hey!" before giggling like a little girl.

"Stop giggling, Loz." Sephiroth commanded. Loz nodded and giggled. Sephiroth sighed and studied the bottle. It was the drink he bought last night.

"You idiots!! This thing has alcohol in it!" He waved the bottle at Loz, who just giggled.

"It's lemon flavored! Lemon! Lemon, lemon, lemon! Meow!" Yazoo laughed at himself and danced around.

"My god! How many bottles did you guys drink?" Sephiroth asked, desperately hoping they only had a few bottles.

"ALL OF IT!!" Kadaj pounced on Sephiroth, wrapping his arm around his neck. Sephiroth glanced at his brother with disbelief.

"A-all of it?" He repeated, hoping that Kadaj was just joking. Kadaj nodded and smiled.

"ALL OF IT!!" He screamed in Sephiroth's ears. Sephiroth sat down, not even bothering to pry Kadaj away from his ringing ear. His other two brothers danced around him, laughing and giggling. Little did they know of the headache waiting for them next morning.

"OK, OK, I quit…… I wont drink anymore, you happy?" Sephiroth hung his head with defeat. On his shoulder sat an angel that looked just like him, smiling smugly.

"Told you I always win. Oh and wait till you see what they did to the kitchen and living room. I love it, might take awhile for you to clean up though. " The angel whispered in his ear, laughed and disappeared in a puff.

**

* * *

Haha! Drunk Kadaj, Yazoo, and Loz! If you don't understand what the angel and devil Sephiroth was muttering about, read the previous chapter. The angel seemed more like a devil though…… **

**HAPPY NEW YEAR!!! All who reviewed will receive a bottle of that lemon flavored stuff…..don't worry this one has no alcohol in it, unless you want it to have…hehehe. Thank you to every one who reviewed and my good friend Kysic who was the one who made me update or else you guys would have never got to read this. Go and read her stories!**


	8. Reason 7

**10 Reasons Why Sephiroth Hates His Brothers: Chapter 7**

**Ok, I have officially run out of excuses for not updating. I am so sorry. But I think you guys have heard enough of my apologies. They should have a seat reserved in hell for procrastinators like me. **

* * *

**Reason 7: They bother the neighbors (you know how neighbors get)**

The whole apartment shook. The windows quaked, the stairs trembled and the ceilings rumbled. Kadaj, Loz, and Yazoo have the apartment to themselves at the moment. They had cranked up the volume on the radio until it can no longer go up. Loz was jumping from one couch to the next. Kadaj was practically hanging from the lamp in the living room, Yazoo—he was just being Yazoo, silently standing in the corner making sure that Kadaj doesn't fall off the lamp and crack his head open.

Apparently Kadaj and Loz had discovered the box of sugar donuts, and have devoured the contents, leaving behind only crumbs and an empty paper box. Sephiroth has been gone the whole night, and so far have not appeared yet. The apartment was a chaos.

"Kadaj," Yazoo spoke up from his corner. Kadaj of course could not hear over the loud music and continued laughing from his high perch.

"Kadaj!" Yazoo shouted. Kadaj still did not respond. "KADAJ!!!" The silver haired teenager screamed at his younger brother.

Kadaj looked around, he was sure that he had heard someone called his name.

"GET DOWN FROM THERE, KADAJ!!!" Another loud scream made him look down at Yazoo, whose was steaming red from screaming at the swinging Kadaj.

"LOOK OUT!!" Another shout made Yazoo turn, just in time to see Loz jump from the sofa and right onto him. Kadaj winced at the sight of Loz's huge figure landing on the delicate Yazoo and then laughed at the pile of silver haired men beneath him. He made the lamp swing this way and that, still high on sugar.

"Get off me!" Yazoo shoved Loz off him and glared up at the monkey swinging on the lamp. "And get down from there!"

"I don't wanna!!" The lamp creaked dangerously back and forth, causing some plaster to fall on Yazoo. "No more donuts for you if you don't get down before you break your neck!" Yazoo yelled at him while dusting white plaster off himself.

_How did he get up there in the first place?? _He thought to himself. He had stepped into the bathroom for just a few seconds, and now Kadaj is swinging from a lamp, while the whole apartment is being shook down by a guitar solo booming away in the speaker.

"Loz, go turn off the music!" Loz answered Yazoo by jumping onto the couch again, flattening the pillows with his jig. Yazoo rubbed his temple, silently cursing Sephiroth for leaving that box of sugar donuts out in plain sight.

* * *

Downstairs, a man with dark raven hair looked up at the trembling ceiling with thoughtfulness. 

"What in hell's name is going on up there??" Another older looking man with blond hair entered the room, looking thoroughly annoyed.

"So you've finally woken up, Cid." Red eyes continued to watch the quivering ceiling and bits and pieces of plaster fell down.

"Woken up? I wasn't even &#$ asleep in the first place, with all that $ booming and shaking! Don't they know that I have a huge &#$ hangover?? Why don't you go and #!&complain, Vincent?" Cid sat down in one of the kitchen stool, holding his head.

"You don't act like you have a hangover," Vincent got up from his seat to get the older man a cup of tea. "Besides, why don't you go yourself? You're the one complaining."

"You have no sympathy. I don't know why the #$$& I asked if you want to stay over at my apartment." Cid growled and grabbed the cup of tea Vincent handed him.

"Maybe because you were feeling sorry for me?"

"Never #$& again…." The ceiling trembled and a piece of it landed in Cid's tea with a plop. Without noticing, Cid took a huge swig from the cup. Vincent watched with amusement as Cid coughed and gagged, spitting green tea all over the place.

"I'm not cleaning that up." Vincent informed the blond and tossed him a towel. Cid glared at him, mopped up the mess, and went to get more tea.

"I'm going to tell those people living upstairs to shut the #$&$ up," Vincent nodded, waiting for him to get up and get moving.

"Right after I take an Advil and another cup of tea." Cid moaned from his headache as he searched through their cabinet. Vincent sighed and got up. His ears were hurting from all that loud noise anyways.

* * *

Sephiroth slowly dragged himself up the quivering stairs. New waves of pain in his head hit him each time he took a step. That loud booming beat wasn't helping much either. 

"Is there an earthquake or something?" He muttered to himself. Leaning against a door he took a break. The pain in his head never ceasing, he desperately tried to remember what happened last night. The only thing that came into his mind was the cocktail that had him out in two sips. Sephiroth had never been knocked out by alcohol before and now he has a head splitting hangover.

"What the hell happened afterward…?" The door suddenly swung forward sending Sephiroth sprawling to the ground. A man dressed in a red shirt and black jeans stared at Sephiroth who was moaning and whining on the ground.

"Sorry." The man said monotonically, putting out his hand to help Sephiroth up.

"Vince, I'm coming too! I'm gonna give them a piece of my #&$# mind!" Cid walked out and yelped in surprise when he saw Sephiroth.

"Hey! I know you! You're that silver haired whelp who was #$&$ drunk last night!" Sephiroth stared at the man, trying his best to remember who this foul mouth old man was.

"You know this guy, Cid?" Vincent turned to ask Cid.

"How could I forget? He had an awfully shitty singing voice. It gave me an earache along with a headache. He didn't know how to dance either," looking over at the still confused Sephiroth he shrugged. "He probably doesn't remember me. No one remembers anything after Sara serves that drink of hers. I was amazed that he wasn't out with the first sip."

"You live here?" Vincent asked Sephiroth slowly, trying to be heard over the not-so-distant booming. It took a moment for Sephiroth's pain wracked brain to process the question. Finally understanding what the man was asking he pointed upstairs. "I live up there."

"Up there? Do you live with anyone else upstairs?" Vincent began slowly walking the two hanged over men up the stairs.

"Do you &$# know why this apartment is shaking like this? It's because of the people living with you UP THERE!" Cid yelled with effort as they walked closer to the source of the trembling and noise.

Sephiroth's headache increased by tenfold as the constant beat of what appears to be hard rock made him bounce up and down.

"What in mother's name are they doing in there??" He moaned, pressing his eyelids, trying to relieve the pressure beneath them.

Vincent rang the doorbell seeing that the other two are looking a bit pale and clutching their head in agony. He rang again and knocked on the door. There was no answer except the music.

"Move aside!" Cid, getting impatient, rudely pushed Vincent aside and kicked the door. Suddenly the music paused, Cid managed to ring the doorbell before the music moved on to the next track. The music finally stopped, and along with it the trembling and booming. The whole apartment seemed to sigh in relieve.

There was brief shouting behind the door, and then someone opened it tentatively. One green eye peeked out at Vincent and Cid.

"Yes?" Yazoo asked nervously, hoping that they had not called the police for disturbing the whole neighborhood. Sephiroth will never let them off the hook if the police were pulled into this.

"Finally turned off the music, huh? Did you know how much worse you have made my head ache?" Cid asked the young man, standing up to make himself look even taller and buffer.

Vincent pushed the still dazed Sephiroth forward. "I think he lives here."

"Nii-chan!" Running out, Yazoo dragged his poor brother into the apartment. "What happened to him?" Yazoo asked Vincent. Kadaj and Loz walked out and seeing Sephiroth began to panic.

"Nii-chan! We didn't mean to eat all that donuts! We'll fix the lampandthecouch! We'resorry! We'llnevergethighoffsugar-" the two began groveling, talking so fast that it was making Cid's head hurt even more.

"Shut up guys, nii-chan's half conscious right now. You can beg for your lives later. Help me get him inside." Kadaj and Loz immediately shut their mouths, kind of glad that Sephiroth didn't hear all that, and helped their older brother into the house.

"Hey maybe we can go for another drink sometimes next week!" Cid called out to Sephiroth as Loz dragged him towards the bedrooms. Sephiroth just moaned in reply.

"Ok, listen up you little brats! No matter how high off sugar you are you can't-" Cid's rant was cut off by the sound of the door slamming in his face. Cid stared at the ebony colored door in shock.

"Cid, time to go."

"They shut the door in my face, Vince."

"Cid…"

"Those #&#$ little brats!"

"Cid, come on. Why don't I get you another cup of hot tea and an Advil."

"I won't go until I teach those #$&$ little brats a lesson! I-" Cid continued shouting as Vincent dragged him downstairs to their apartment.

"I think I need to get myself some Advil……" Vincent muttered to himself thoughtfully as he instinctively blocked out Cid's curse filled monologue.

**

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Sorry it sucks. I just wanted to write a chapter with Vincent and Cid in it. I love these two. Shameless advertisement of Advil in this chapter. (Sigh) I think I'm loosing it…….I need an Advil…….. **


	9. Reason 8

**10 Reasons Why Sephiroth Hates His Brothers: Chapter 8  
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**I should be doing my English essay right now…..but I think this is much more important. Don't you think so too? **

**Warning: Some strong language used in here since Sephiroth lost his temper...**

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**Reason 8: They are complete morons…**

"I want to learn how to drive again," Sephiroth looked up into the rearview mirror, shocked and horrified.

"What?" he asked, pulling on his ear with one hand, wishing, hoping that he had heard his youngest brother wrong. "What?" he repeated again.

"I wanna learn how to drive again." Kadaj repeated again. Loz and Yazoo's gazes moved back and forth between Kadaj and Sephiroth. Sephiroth continued to stare into the mirror with an expression of horror and doom completely covered up by his cool, unfazed mask, watching the determined look on Kadaj's face.

"You remembered last time?" Sephiroth's attention returned to the road when he almost ran over a squirrel running across the street. Loz moaned in terror and Yazoo uttered something unintelligent as the horrible memory came spilling back. Kadaj sat, unfazed for he wasn't traumatized from the experience since he was the one behind the wheel, not the terrorized passenger sitting on the side.

"Yea, I remember, but I promise this time it will be much better!" Kadaj tried to convince his big brother, his eyes eager. Sephiroth looked into the mirror again. Kadaj had on his puppy eyes, oblivious to Yazoo and Loz, wildly waving their arms and gesturing to Sephiroth with desperation—no, no, no!

Sephiroth debated between his life and those eyes of Kadaj. Narrowly missing another street crossing squirrel—they really should have crossing guards for them or something—he decided to keep his eyes ahead and debate at the same time. Sparing another glance at Kadaj and his brothers whimpering and waving, he sighed.

"Fine. I will attempt to teach you one more time, but you promise to keep your eyes on the road?" Sephiroth asked. Kadaj gave a squeal of glee and wrapped his arms around Sephiroth's neck to give him a hug, but instead almost attempted a murder. Loud cries of despair could be heard from the backseat as Sephiroth tried to drive in a straight line and breathe at the same time.

"Let go of nii-chan before we're all killed will you?" Loz yelled at Kadaj as the car swerved. "What's the use? We're going to die anyways with Kadaj behind the wheels." Yazoo murmured quietly. Kadaj let go immediately with a "oops" and a chuckle. Sephiroth gasped for breath as his hands gripped the wheel in a death grip.

Sending a glare backwards at Kadaj he rubbed his throat, "Rule number one: Never, NEVER try to strangle a driver while the car is in motion, understand?" Kadaj nodded, gleeful.

_What have I gotten myself into?_ Sephiroth silently curse himself over and over as he drove his brothers home.

The next morning Kadaj woke extra early, dressed, brushed his teeth, and ate his breakfast all with a bounce in his steps. Yazoo and Loz on the other hand instead of feeling the excitement Kadaj had felt dragged themselves along behind him, silently moaning and grieving for their short lives.

"I'm going to learn how to drive, finally!!" Kadaj turned to his ash-faced brothers and gave them each a hug. Loz and Yazoo mumbled, trapped in previous memories, involving a car, Kadaj, a cow, a ditch, and a tree.

Sephiroth finally emerged from his slumber, his face paler than usual, dragging his feet along with him, like Yazoo and Loz—dooms day had come.

"Let's go, nii-chan!" Kadaj bounced up to Sephiroth, grabbed his arms and tugged him towards the direction of the door.

"Sure," Sephiroth slipped into his black boots and opened the door, turning around he glared at Yazoo and Loz. "Well? Aren't you two coming? We're waiting." Yazoo and Loz looked at each other, looked back at their venomous older brother, and then looked at Kadaj, the killer driver—literally.

"W-we think we'll stay-" no sooner had they mutter these words a menacing shadow hovered above them, blocking out the lights. Yazoo and Loz pressed towards each other a bit closer, looking up at their brother's murderous face.

"Are you guys coming or not?" Sephiroth muttered through clenched teeth, grinding them together to add an effect. If he has to suffer from Kadaj's driving skills, he will not be the only one.

"W-we're coming!" Yazoo and Loz scattered and went to the door, Yazoo sighing in defeat, and Loz looking like he was going to bawl. Kadaj just smiled at the two, happy that he will have more companions.

* * *

They used an empty parking lot. There wasn't much cars, just a few parked here and there. Sephiroth got out of the drivers seat, savoring the moments before the terror begins. Kadaj, jumped out of the backseat and into the driver's seat, caressing the wheel with awe. 

"Ok, now don't touch anything before I get in to the passenger seat. Don't touch anything!" Sephiroth addressed Kadaj before walking over to the passenger seat and sitting down, buckling himself in extra tight.

"Alright, start the engine. Turn the keys and release the break, and pull this knob to the 'D'. You got all that?" Kadaj nodded very seriously and turned the keys slowly, with concentration. Yazoo and Loz grabbed the side of the car door as soon as the engine purred. Loz's other hand grabbed Yazoo's spare hand, clutching and digging his fingers into Yazoo's palm. Yazoo just sat, a rare look of terror on his face.

"Now what do I do?" Kadaj asked Sephiroth who had his eyes closed, quietly muttering. Sephiroth opened his eyes wide and stared at Kadaj, who sat there with the wheel in his hands, sort of awkward but comfortable at the same time. Sephiroth was shocked into silence for awhile, the last time they didn't even get past the break part, but now Kadaj sat there, ready for his next task.

"OK……ummm….lightly push on the gas pedal, not too hard though!" Sephiroth added in alarm as he watched Kadaj's leg move. The car stared moving forward a bit faster, and feeling this, Loz screamed, pulling Yazoo into a bone-crunching bear hug. Sephiroth closed his eyes again, waiting for the car to speed forward and keep moving forward until it hits something.

But the car didn't squeal down the parking lot, didn't hit anything, didn't explode into a million pieces, Sephiroth's arms and senses are still intact, and Loz still had the breath to scream.

Opening his eyes he saw that the car was moving, but moving at a nice slow speed. Sephiroth turned to Kadaj, who was leaning into the wheel, biting his lips and squinting in concentration.

Realizing that Loz was still screaming, and the noise really was hurting his ears, he turned to smack Loz in the head, hissing at him to stop screaming. Loz shut his mouth, looking around in amazement. Yazoo wiggled out of Loz's grasp with relief, not displaying any trace of the fear he was feeling when the car started moving.

"I'm still alive?" Loz asked Yazoo with disbelief, looking out the window to see that that the buildings weren't speeding past, but instead moving slowly. Yazoo nodded, and watched Kadaj with wonder as he turned a corner.

"Am I doing good, nii-chan?" Kadaj didn't even spare Sephiroth a glance as he circled a car, driving like a pro.

"Y-yes, you are doing very well," Sephiroth muttered, slightly stunned that they were not sitting in a ditch right now.

"Wow! Kadaj, you're amazing!" Loz said happily. This compliment made Kadaj turn around with glee, momentarily forgetting that he had his hand on the wheel.

"Your eyes, Kadaj!!" Yazoo yelled at Kadaj as the car suddenly swerved sharply, crashing into the side of a black SUV. There was a moment of silence after the crash, all four brothers watching the car and waiting for the owner to come out.

After a moment, it was clear that no one noticed. Sephiroth turned and shot a death glare at Kadaj.

"What did I say about keeping your eyes forward?" he hissed.

"Sorry," Kadaj muttered, his head down. Sephiroth looked around, no one was coming, oh well.

"I guess we can learn how to back up, while we are at it." Yazoo and Loz stared at Sephiroth with disbelief for continuing Kadaj's lesson.

"Well? You know what to do, get on with it!" yelled Sephiroth, ignoring the other two's glare of hatred.

* * *

After a few surprisingly smooth turns and all that, Kadaj was soon driving with skill. Yazoo and Loz had stopped trying to clutch the stuffing out of the seats, and Sephiroth yelled less. 

Now for the big challenge.

"I want to drive home," Kadaj told Sepiroth.

"D-drive home? On the roads? With people around you??" stammered Loz.

"Of course on the roads you moron." Sephiroth snapped back at Loz.

"But today's just his first day, maybe after a few more drives in the parking lot, then he can take on the streets," Yazoo suggested hesitantly. They all watched Sephiroth for his reaction. He sat there thinking about it for awhile and then nodded slowly. Yazoo and Loz sat back, fearful and made sure their seatbelts are tightened.

"OK, here I go." Kadaj pulled the car out of the parking lot and onto the road.

It started out pretty well. Key word: started out. Kadaj had some control. But as he was driving past the park with the damn street crossing squirrel, he lost control. One of those furry tailed rats took him by surprise, streaking across the street, making Kadaj swerve to avoid it. Screaming, he let go of the wheel. Rule number two: Never ever take your hands off the steering wheel.

"Kadaj! Hands on the wheel!!!" Sephiroth yelled as the car spun this way and that.

"It won't go where I want it to go!!!" Kadaj screamed back at nii-chan.

"That's because your hands are not on the damn wheel!!" Sephiroth shouted at him as he was almost thrown out the opened window, his seatbelt saving him (always put on a seatbelt kids!)

Loz whimpered in the back, once again clutching to Yazoo for dear life. Yazoo was too preoccupied with the cliché slide show of his life memories flashing before his eyes to notice that Loz was cutting off his air supply and screaming him deaf.

Sephiroth decided to take the wheel, managing to secure the car without hitting any of the other cars. The other drivers beeped and hollered at their car as they sped past, leaving traffic and chaos behind them.

"Put your foot on the break!!!" Sephiroth hollered at Kadaj. Kadaj slammed his foot down. The car sped up, faster than ever.

"The break you moron! NOT THE GAS!!!" Sephiroth shrieked at the bewildered teenager. Kadaj immediately lifted his foot, but the car kept going, 90 miles per hour, just a bit above the speed limit.

"What's going on??" Kadaj looked down, and saw that the pedal was stuck, pushed to the limit. Looking up sheepishly Kadaj muttered something.

"WHAT"S GOING ON??" Sephiroth screamed at him.

"The pedal's stuck…" Sephiroth looked like he was going to explode at the words. "Keep trying to push the break." He yelled at him through the shrieking winds coming in from the opened window. It seemed the whole world is screaming.

Down the street they sped, Kadaj trying to break and Sepiroth steering the car, which was going a bit too fast for it to take, Yazoo and Loz just prayed that they might be able to see another day.

"Look out!" Kadaj seemed to have turned into the look out, while Sephiroth dealt with the impossible steering wheel. Expertly dodging in and out, they managed not to crash into anything (except a cat…poor thing), which was a miracle.

Suddenly, Kadaj saw something that scared the crap out of him. Two teenagers pulling along a little girl with snowy white hair was walking across the street, right in front of them.

"NII-CHAN!!!!!" he screamed and pointed. Sephiroth looked up and turned the wheel, trying to avoid them. The brunette girl looked up, hearing the screeching tiles and stopped, but the other one with black hair didn't notice, kept pulling the child along with her.

"OH GOD!! WE'RE GONNA RUN INTO HER!!" Loz screamed in the back. At the last minute the girl noticed them and pulled the child back, a look of pure shock on her face, the wheels of the car narrowly missing her feet. Yazoo and Loz turned around to see if she was OK. The brunette pulled the crying child of the street, trying to calm her down. The girl with the black hair seemed stunned but ran after them as soon as she recovered; yelling profanities that made Loz wince.

"Hey! She flipped us off!" Loz commented as the girl continued yelling at them, though they can't really understand her now that they were getting farther and farther away.

"Well, tell her thanks for the advice. We will definitely fuck off," Sephiroth muttered. Loz stuck his head out of the window to repeat Sephiroth's comment but Yazoo pulled him back just in time as his head almost smacked into a parked car.

"I was being sarcastic, stupid!!" Sephiroth screamed at Loz as he fought for control with the steering wheel.

They were nearing their apartment when Kadaj suddenly gave a cry of joy.

"Hey! I got the break!!" Kadaj yelled happily as his foot got the break pedal to go in and the gas pedal to come up.

The car slowly came to a halt, right in front of their apartment building door. The four brothers sat there in silence, slowly letting their shock set in.

"I hate squirrels," Kadaj murmured after a few seconds as his head fell back against the seat.

Yazoo seemed to have lost his speech ability, and Loz was still dazed.

" You are a moron and you are going to ride a bike from now on." Sephiroth muttered, not moving from his seat.

"Hey boys," none of them turn to see who was talking. Cid stared into the car, watching with amusement at the shock and tired look on his neighbor's face. "What happened tha you guys? And what happened to tha car? You looked like you've been tha hell and back!"

"We did…" Kadaj turned his head slightly to answer the blond man, before slumping down his seat out of sight.

* * *

**Back at the parking lot**

"What the hell happened to my car?" a woman with strawberry blonde hair stared at her beat up SUV. She turned to look at the man behind her, who was stepping away from her, shaking his head hard enough to mess up his perfectly spiked copper hair.

"It looks like you decided to use my car for something, Cooper," Cooper shook his head even harder, holding up his hands as if trying to keep her back.

"Garnet, I didn't use your car. I swear! I don't even know how to drive! I don't know what happened!! If I had used the car it would have been—"

"Even worse than this? I think so too. Great, now I have to get it fixed again," Garnet shot a glare at the man.

"It was an accident last time!"

"If only you had kept your eyes ahead and put your hands on the wheels…."

"If only that damn squirrel didn't try to cross the street…."

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**OK, lame ending but I so wanted to put my characters in the end. My own characters (Cooper and Garnet) originally starred in this story and it was sad to cut them out, but it was pretty funny with Sephy and Kadaj. They have a guardian angel watching over them though, since they were able to shoot down the street like that without killing anyone or getting crush into pieces.  
Sephiroth: We're going to give Kadaj another driving lesson and this time you're coming too.  
W-what? I'd like to keep my head, thank you.  
Sephiroth: YOU'RE COMING.  
O-OK…..I hope my guardian angel's not on vacation…….  
Sephiroth: You're guardian angel's not coming back. (Wipes sword clean)**  
…**..hope you guys like this story; please review….and pray that I'll still be here to type up the next chapter…. **


	10. Reason 9: Pt 1

**Ten Reasons Why Sephiroth Hates His Brothers: Chapter 9**

**Oh my god, what's this? She actually updated?! **

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**Reason 9: They steal his fangirls**

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**Just kidding. Here's the real chapter.**

**The _Real _reason 9: Four Reasons Why Kadaj Loves His Brothers**

Reason 1: There's always someone he can cast the blame on.

Sephiroth hates pink. He was a manly man for mother's sake. Pink was not his color. So why was his underwear, his socks, his shirt…practically all his clothes, pink? That was what he asked the brothers, who were usually the ones in charge of cleaning. Yazoo slipped out before confrontation reached him, leaving the agitated older brother with his younger ones. Kadaj, oh how he loved his elder brother Loz, shoved the poor man at the silver inferno, then dashed out of there as soon as possible.

"It was mean of you to use Loz as a substitute," Yazoo snapped the book shut, giving the giggling youth a look of apathy.

"I'll make it up to him later. Loz always forgives me. And you never told me that I have to separate the white from the reds in the wash." The young man with the feline attributes sneaked a peak out of the room and smiled as Sephiroth-nii-chan chased Loz across their tiny apartment room.

"Well, now you know." Yazoo's mutter was inaudible over the other brother's scream.

Reason 2: Sharing is Caring. 

"Now you listen to me," the eldest brother hissed, a silver haired snake in their face. The three stood before him in a row similar to that of an execution line. The one with the long silver hair stood with a resolute calmness, so unlike a few hours ago, when he had been reeling drunk. The other two looked down in submission, afraid of their eldest brother's wrath. Finding the liquor was only an accident on their part.

"And you listen carefully," Sephiroth walked up to the one in the middle, Kadaj, leering in his face. The young man stepped back a few steps, frightened. "Don't you ever," he moved on to Loz, and spat as he stabbed a finger at his chest. "_Ever_. Touch my things again. Even if it looks like Lemon POP!" He hollered, and Kadaj pressed against Loz, cowering in fright. Loz was no help in comforting his brother, being scared stiff himself, and the two shivered like a pair of stripped down chicken facing a boiling pot of oil.

Sephiroth turned, finally through with his rant. The other two waited, then turn to commence Yazoo for his stiff faced exhibit in such a dangerous position. Both backed away when they saw the unusual green tint in their brother's face.

Suddenly, the swords man turned, about to say something else. Yazoo fell forward, letting out a gurgle and a sickening gag. Sephiroth caught the boy, a look of 'I-should-have-expected-this' smeared all over his pale face. Just like how the chunks of lemon pop alcohol were now smeared all over his boots. Kadaj, on seeing his dear older brother throw up, felt his stomach turn a somersault. Leaning on Loz, he made a sound similar to Yazoo's. Loz's face paled, mirroring Sephiroth's horror.

The love must be shared.

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**Strange, huh, actually updating this one year old story. I think most of the people reading this are gone. Oh well, new audiences? I promised that I got a bit better after a year. Well, this chapter is actually split into two parts for a nice and fast read. Don't want to be crowding you guys with words. **

**Why four reasons and not ten? Cause my muse refuse to cooperate with that many. **

**Hope this was worth the wait...for those of you still out there. **


	11. Reason 9: Pt 2

**The _Real _reason 9 pt 2: Four Reasons Why Kadaj Loves His Brothers**

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Reason 3: He never has to waste time punching walls when he could punch brothers.

Sometimes, one lacks the vocabulary bank to describe Kadaj. What's a word for handsome yet manipulative? Have they invented a word to depict someone who's deceptive and childish at the same time? Can anyone check the dictionary for a word that means overbearing but weak-minded?

But there's one word that can never go wrong when it comes to Kadaj—overdramatic. No analytic tension there.

"Overdramatic," Yazoo nodded, shutting the dictionary and observing the scene his youngest brother is creating. "Now that's a set record of ripped pillows." Blowing away a floating feather with a look of indifference, Yazoo placed the dictionary on the window ledge. Beside him, Loz sighed, plucking a feather out of his silver hair.

"Care to tell me the reason to why he's like this?" Loz grumbled, sneezing as another feather fluff tickled him across his eagle beak nose. Yazoo sat himself daintily on the window sill, knowing he could not break it off with his size. The two were observing quite a storm.

"Just upset," he answered simply. Just upset. Nothing more to that. Loz crossed his arms, rolling his eyes at his feline-like sibling, both of them, one as wild as a typhoon and the other measuring the tranquility of the storm's eye. Well, if _Yazoo _wasn't going to set in with a finger, Loz might as well. With none too gentle steps, Loz swaggered over to Kadaj and grabbed him by the back of his jacket as the young man reached for another unfortunate plush.

"Nah ah ah…_ACHOO!_" Damn pillows. Loz sniffled, before turning his brother over to try and look him in the eye. "Come on now, Kadaj, there're healthy ways to rent your anger. Ripping pillows is not one of them." Meeting half-lidded green eyes, Loz immediately knew that it was a mistake.

Next thing he knew, he was lying on the floor, trying to huff through seemingly constricted chest. Looking up, he convulsed with panic when he saw that Kadaj's head was resting right on his stomach and clenched fist on his chest. Crazy little boy, beating down his big brother with bare fists was not something to laugh over.

"Did you like that, Kadaj?" A head leaned over to observe the two. Yazoo had been out of the storm's rage all this time. "Mmm…" the youngest brother mumbled, weakly nodding his head.

"Good, because that's a good way to release your anger." Grabbing the young man, Yazoo picked him up and placed him on the bed, scattering the white feathers and ripped pillow cases. Loz sat up, still grasping his chest in awe and watched them. "W-wha—"

"Loz," Kadaj mumbled as he curled into a ball, staring at his elder brother with one green eye. "Thanks." His unfortunate sibling stared at him as he drifted off to sleep.

"Well then, it's official."

Loz turned, staring blankly at Yazoo now. Apparently, the fact that he had been thwacked by someone younger than him was still not sinking in. "What?"

"You're his new pillow."

That night, because their pillows have been reduced to feathers, they used Loz's sore stomach as a pillow. And Loz, still traumatized, slept using his stuffed animal as a head rest, and dreamed of silver haired, overdramatic midgets and dictionaries.

Reason 5: Companions? He has three of them.

"They won't come over anymore," Kadaj muttered, kicking at the baby chocobo doll that Loz had left on the ground.

"Who?" Yazoo flipped the pages of the fashion magazine, eyeing the black leather pants he had been staring at for the past few weeks. Maybe he'll steal a pair of Sephiroth's? The man seemed to have an endless amount of them.

"My friends," the young man grumbled, flopping onto the bed next to his elder brother and leaning over to look through the magazine with him.

"Friends? You mean those little earthworms you kept digging up in elementary school? Kadaj, that was years ago. You stopped bringing back earthworms a long time ago. They don't even count as friends in the first place." Sparing his glances only at the models in the catalogue, Yazoo wondered how he could get his hair silky smooth like theirs. Not that it wasn't silky smooth already in the first place. Just a bit silkier maybe…

"Not them!" Kadaj whined, sitting back up. "Useless! You guys are useless! Of course I don't have any friends, cause my brothers scare them away!" Sniveling and howling, Kadaj left the room, throwing his fists up in exasperation. Yazoo watched as he stormed off, and then returned to his magazine. Drama queen.

Hearing dashing footsteps, Yazoo looked up as the boy's silver head popped back into the room. "And they were too my friend!" Kadaj yelled, referring to the earthworms with a cracked voice before he ran out of sight again.

Sitting on the couch alone, Kadaj released his frustration on the remote button. It did little to relax him though. Just then, someone walked up next to him, and laid himself on the youngest brother's legs. It was Yazoo, sprawled across the boy as he took the whole couch.

"Hey!" Kadaj protested as the elder youth wiggled to get comfortable, then snatched the remote from him like he owned the place. "Oh shish," Yazoo scoffed, pounding away at the button now that he was in control.

"Yazoo! I was here first! Get off of me, what do you think you're doing!" Somebody wrapped a thick arm across his face, shutting him up as a fist grind itself into his hair. He gave a muffled protest as Loz laughed behind him, giving him a noogie then jumping over the back of the chair to land awkwardly on Yazoo's legs. This caused a round of mild cursing from the normally calm man as the hulk of a young man settled down next to Kadaj and rested Yazoo's legs on his lap. As soon as Loz settled down, he received a kick in the face and then a small scuffle for the remote ensued while Kadaj sat in the midst of it, looking thoroughly confused and mussed up.

Then who should come during this mess to liberate the remote? Sephiroth swooped down on the three brothers, liberating the poor battered piece of machinery and settling himself on the other side of Kadaj, careful of Yazoo's head as he in turn placed the young man's head on his lap.

The other two calmed down when their eldest brother arrived, and Kadaj, caught in the middle in an uncomfortable squeeze, looked at the three with apprehension. What are _they _doing here?

"See, why need worms when you have three?" Randomly out of nowhere, Yazoo's question popped Kadaj on the head. The young man sighed, a small gracious pout appearing on his face as he leaned his head back, Loz pushing from the right, Sephiroth squeezing from the right, and Yazoo crushing from above. Yes, why complain about friends when you already have three?

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**There's reason nine. Now...who wants to guess when the final reason ten will come out. XD **


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